#not only am i just scared of judgment
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i know i’m on break and this isn’t a full sign i’m Back but i just woke up aroused as all hell from a really good dream and i need to share it because i think i’m gonna need to cum before i can sleep again holy shit
so the dream was inconsequential until the last bit, a few friends were over and we were hanging out and just chilling, i think we had been at the mall earlier. and one of my friends was a little uncomfortable-looking, until he whines out of nowhere:
“I have to peeeee. can i peee?”
i’m trying my best to be as normal as i can about this and i’m like “wh- yes of course it’s over here” and i show him where the bathroom is. while he’s in there i’m on instagram checking stories and i notice something in his story from earlier while we were out at the mall:
he was visibly potty dancing in the video. like, being all excitable and happy, but he was clearly dancing around and like pushing his legs together and swaying around. it looked like he was trying to disguise it as just being excited but the way he was jumping around and swaying was very obvious to me, especially given his whiny admission earlier.
i’m doing my damndest to not be so horribly turned on by this all from my friend, but i swipe up on his story and chastise him for holding it when he could have said at any time he needed to pee and i would have helped him find a bathroom. then i think he responded along the lines of,
“i know. B-but i just peed yesterday! it’s not fair :/“
he doesn’t have a piss kink as far as i know and he doesn’t (at least to my knowledge) know i have one either, so he has no clue what he’s doing to me. i chastise him a bit more, relate with the sentiment a little bit (i get very annoyed about needing to pee when i’m non-sexually age regressed bc it’s usually when i’m stressed) and then when he comes out of the bathroom i’m immediately scooping him into my arms on the bed and we’re cuddling (and i’m desperately trying not to grind my dick into him)
again, he doesn’t know how into this i am- or, if he does, he hasn’t let me know. we kinda fool around a little bit as friends (long distance bc we’re far apart) and i can’t say i don’t have a little bit of a crush on him, but this was… mmngh. fucking hell. i need either a cold shower, my vibrator, or a fucking priest now
#omorashi#omo#bladder desperation#bladder holding#piss kink#pee#full bladder#olli’s pee dreams#and no i am sure as shit never telling him i have this kink#none of my friends know#not only am i just scared of judgment#i’m scared of them losing their trust to tell me things#we often commiserate about parts of our disabilities that include urinary problems#i don’t want him to feel weird and unsafe about telling me things#just because i might be getting off on it#because almost always i’m not
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i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get
#like i convinced myself the only way to deal with my pain and my problems was to attempt suicide so people would know i was suffering#bc i wasn't able to tell them#and i really really for real believed it and i did exactly that and it's very scary to think my mind can get so twisted and believe these#distorted versions of reality or twisted ways to get what i need or all the negative things i think of myself#and like i guess this is just part of working on getting rid of these beliefs. that i'm realising just how deep in them i am and that it#scares me#but it's not a nice feeling. i'm really trying not to judge myself for it that's not useful. i'm still learning how to not judge myself#for every little thing but god it's hard i'm so used to thinking i'm too much or not enough or too emotional or too stupid or inadequate et#just every bad thing under the sun#but even trying my hardest to mantain like a non judgmental view of this issue... the fear is the hardest part rn#it's just... i don't even know who i am? and that's also something we're gonna work on and started to a little#but i don't know who i am and so i just believe abt myself whatever the situation leads me to believe. whatever my bpd leads me to believe#whatever others lead me to believe#and the last one especially is perhaps my biggest issue. i don't know myself and i don't like what “myself” currently is and i live for#other people i live to please others i do things so others will like me or at least not dislike me so i can hate myself less#and really that's no way to live. and this is something this therapist is making me realize and understand#but it's just seriously so.... scary all of this all of this realizing i'm just an empty vessel that i fill up depending on the person i'm#interacting with and that i am.. nothing. like not nothing but like nico is not a formed person. i have molded myself to other ppl's tastes#and needs and if i try to look beyond that there's just this void or at least this question mark#i don't think i have like no personality? but well i do have a personality disorder so that's fucked me up! and it's! aaaa!!#if i think about the things i have convinced myself of by sheer repeating thek to myself all the time in my dark moments...idk#and like it was manageable when the dark moments had reduced and i was relatively okay. but as soon as i got bad again... oh#it started being a constant bombardment of negative talk to myself abt myself and a constant telling myself#well pretty much that there is no worth to be found inside myself. so unless this pain somehow goes away by itself i'll kill myself#that was basically my train of thought every day multiple times a day for months and months#that is scary!!!!!!!! that is so!!!! i'm so#sorry this is a mess. i'm trying not to cry bc i'm at my parents' house and my father's around but. yeah. just lots of feelings#and again it's probably normal i mean talking about these things is good! but feelings are bound to arise and some are hard to deal with#suicide tw#sorry i forgot the tw in my being upset in the moment
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me every day for the last month: i am better than literally everyone else on planet earth. i am the smartest and the prettiest and people are lucky to be in my presence.
me for the last 24 hours: i am a disgusting slobby monster who should never be allowed in public ever again. i am canceling all my plans forever because i can’t let anyone look at me. i have no value and should be euthanized before i waste any more air.
#post inspired by my workplace posting candid photos from a big event#and having me be one of the first people you see#while my face is doing the thing that makes me want to kill myself every time i see it#and then realizing how genuinely ugly i am when i smile like that#and then realizing people probably think im ugly all the time even i personally feel good#not even in a self deprecating way but just acknowledging that i am not considered objectively attractive#and then getting scared about seeing them next week because i know i’m not physically their type#historically speaking#and obviously the only other option is that i am disgusted#i have decided#anyway#i feel bad for all my friends and coworkers who have to see me make that face on a regular basis#sometimes i wonder if they ever look at me and think#‘thank god i don’t look like that’#or if they look at the way i take up space and silently feel grateful for their much smaller bodies#or if they internally make judgments about what kind of person i must be#i am feeling#genuinely sick now i think#goodbye#vent
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interesting observation i've made: i'm a genderqueer intersex trans person who's been on T for 9 years. i wear a lot of elaborate makeup and dress in "women's" clothing most of the time. my body is very masculine and i don't hide my "masc" features like my facial and body hair when i go out, i don't try to pass as any given binary gender, i did in the past and it made me miserable, so i just go about my life as the genderqueer person that i am
whenever i'm outside in a skirt or dress and my beard and body hair are fully visible, i do get a lot of compliments from fem people and women, but i actually get a very large portion of my comments from masc people and men. i originally thought that men would be the most hesitant, but i actually get a lot of men who approach me saying things like "i really dig what you're doing" or "keep that up" or even things like "you dress like how i feel on the inside." that one really stuck with me.
if this many men and mascs are willing to approach me- how many more feel the same way and were too shy or scared to say it out loud for fear of judgment from those who may overhear?
we societally groom men and AMAB people to believe they don't want to wear dresses, skirts, and makeup- but they do. whether or not these people were all transfem eggs or gay is not for me to speculate on; what i want people to take away from this is that people of all gender identities want to wear dresses, skirts, and makeup. people of all gender identities want to dress in different ways. we teach each other that women only wear certain clothes and men only wear certain other clothes, but that's just not the reality of it.
people are way more nuanced than that, and i've seen it with my own two eyes. it's beautiful. the world is a lot more open minded than we're taught to believe. we need to start letting everyone dress as they please. it's clear that most people don't fit into this rigid binary we've created. humanity is just too diverse for that.
#trans#transgender#lgbtqia#lgbtq#queer#lgbt#nonbinary#non binary#enby#genderqueer#genderfluid#ftm#transmasculine#transmasc#intersex#trans man#trans men#our writing
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Ten Things That Are F### Cool About You | PAC
pile one pile two pile three
how to choose a pile . . . choose which picture you are most drawn to or close your eyes, breath and read the one your eyes land on! ᡣ𐭩
— ⭑.ᐟ today I saw a pick a card that not only pissed me off but also disgusted me due to how mean the reader was in every single pile. I checked. their egoistic approach annoyed me. instead of spreading hate, I wanted to remind you why you are an awesome person. not proof read.
pile one : - cold drink !
𐙚 : the high priestess, eight of wands, nine of wands reversed, death
bottom of the deck: five of wands
♡ ⢷ why you are so cool
1. You always research about a topic before talking about it! I think this is very cool because a lot of people spread misinformation without even knowing it and that’s why fake fun facts exist. You are not like that though! You feel a sense of responsibility and thirst for knowledge, which in itself makes you a reliable person. - and source! -
2. You protect those who cannot stand up for themselves and I think that is very cool! Usually, you might have a hard time standing up for yourself but if it’s someone more vulnerable than you then you will give your all. You will raise your voice, yell, make valid arguments and even fight if necessary. - This differs person to person but the imaginary I am getting is protecting children, animals, women and young teens (from creeps to be exact) -
3. You work on yourself and enter new beginnings even if it’s scary at times, it can be hard and scary but that doesn’t make you back off from actually trying your best to become someone that you can be proud of. There is always a sense of hope within you that is very admirable.
4. You know how to keep privacy! A lot of people don’t, and don’t value it as much as they should. Having a healthy boundary with privacy is a privilege not many realise they have.. also, if you happen to share an intimate moment with someone you don’t run your mouth but rather treasure it as a memory as a form of respect.
5. Some people in this pile have temper issues, obviously, don’t take it if that doesn’t apply to you but I am seeing that for those of you who can resonate with that you are doing a really good job keeping it under control. You are not a hot headed person.
6. You are very experimental with looks! I do think this makes you a very beautiful person, because there are several things that suit you and look cool on you. If you like taking pictures I hope you know that you look beautiful and gorgeous in each one of them, one day you will look back at them with a smile even if you didn’t like that one thing because at least you gave it a try.
7. Zero judgment detected in your soul. Seriously, you could be the sort of person that never freaks out at people’s ‘hear me out’s but rather just go ‘yep, I get why you are into that’ even though you have no attraction to whatever character or person they said. You get their point, it’s just not one that you will make.
8. My fashion babies in this pile are slaying each and every time! You could take dressing fashionable in a seasonal manner mildly seriously. You don’t expect everyone to do it, but it’s most definitely something you take a lot of joy in. It’s really cool, your style is a 10/10. - Yes, even if you change it up often. -
9. Even if you are anxious you can do things so incredibly well. You remind me of a video I once saw of a girl with anxiety making a phone call, her hands were shaking uncontrollably the whole time but she didn’t stop being polite and kind. I think that’s you. Even in moments of being scared, you are kind to people.
10. You have such a beautiful voice. I mean your singing voice, but if you are not confident in that this could of course mean your regular speaking voice too. There is something comforting and yet bittersweet about your voice. It makes people feel home at times when they are sad.
— ✮⋆˙ die with a smile - bruno mars & lady gaga , ‘good luck babe’, 2003 , enha photoshoots , guitar injuries (from the string breaking) , white dahlias , glitter videos (those 2021 ones) , ‘good luck, charlie!’ , wavy hair , not well known ethnicity , taurus , capricorn , pisces
that’s all my beautiful pile one! I do think you happen to be very shy, but I do hope that you know that you genuinely have so much love to offer. there is much more to you than what you show the world, but I think you already know that. thank you for reading
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pile two : - peace sign ! ✌🏻
𐙚 : page of pentacles, eight of swords reversed, queen of wands, five of pentacles reversed, page of cups reversed, the star reversed
bottom of the deck: judgement
♡ ⢷ why you are so cool
1. YOU THINK YOU ARE SO COOL AND MYSTERIOUS BUT YOUR HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND KINDNESS 🫵🏻 YOU TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES AND WOULD RATHER SACRIFICE YOURSELF THAN TO EVER SEE THEM SUFFER !!YOU ARE SENSITIVE AND LOVABLE !!!!!!!!!
2. After all that you have went through you are still here and you are still standing. All that happened but rather than it destroying you completely or bringing you down you allowed yourself to heal and I am very proud of you for that.
3. Your judgement of people are very great! Of course if you don’t like someone of have mean thoughts of them you will keep it to yourself in order to not upset anyone, but you are still really good at telling their personality by their behaviour. Other people might not know but you do.
4. You are a secret little romantic! I bet it makes you shy to express your emotions outward and so freely. Truth to be told, you want to experience so much romantic things and wish to think of them without experiencing negative emotions. This makes you cool because even though you have a hard time with it, you know it’s a part of you and accept it.
5. You are so kind to animals, take care of them and most people reading this pile have a pet too. I think animals are just naturally drawn to you regardless of what they are. - as in pet, stray or wild animal. - It’s like they know they can be safe with you.
6. ‘You can slap a bitch if you need to’. Literally, that’s what I heard.. and I think most people here take pride in it too right? Just make sure to not get into unnecessary fights. It’s not what makes you cool though. It’s that you keep to your word. If you say you are gonna do it, you really will.
7. A lot of you find comfort in the stars and moon. In an aesthetic sense, but also there is a deep sense of appreciation for them that not many people have. They just put you in awe. If you are into astrology you have such a deep and profound understanding of it. One that not many people have.
8. Honestly, your view of life is sort of clouded and not completely “whole” but that’s alright. Exactly because day by day you do your best to learn and never turn an opportunity to see life from a wider perspective down, even if you might have done this in the past.
9. You are sooo talented, and you don’t even realise that. You are amazing in creating things; anything that is physical. This is especially true if you like jewellery, as I think designing or just making your own craft is something that you would/could enjoy doing if you put your own unique twist into it. It’s just something that makes you feel alive.
10. You are so confident! Even if you might not always feel like it, on the outside you always appear confident and aware of your surroundings. Someone composed who wants to present themselves in the best way possible. - You probably pay a lot of attention to your posture. -
— ✮⋆˙ ‘I don’t even wanna do this anymore’ , homework from 1 am ‘til 4am , 9 to 5 , jean purses ? , ditto - new jeans , a bent photocard (of whoever) , 7 - JK , stars , something about the four seasons ? , fave colour = red , ‘letta’ , cappuccino & frappuchino , friendly banter , 111 , 1212 , 2011 , sagittarius , aries , leo
i am sorry for yelling at you at the first point my pile 2 but some younger people in this pile - esp teenagers - like to put on a mean girl persona when that’s not them at all. what’s the point of that? you can’t please people with someone you are not. I sincerely wish that’s something you will remember my sweethearts. thank you for reading
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pile three : - megaphone !
𐙚 : three of wands, six of swords, knight of pentacles, justice, king of swords, the lovers
bottom of the deck: five of pentacles reversed
♡ ⢷ why you are so cool
1. You know when to walk away from a situation, which is unironically awesome. Like sure this could be considered a negative trait but you aren’t toxic with it. You just simply know your worth.
2. You have a person you are in love with for several years now right? At least, most people in this pile do. You have unwavering loyalty and love in your heart that no one can take away from you, no matter what. I think that’s very cool.
3. You treat children really well! Which should be a given, but many people are way more mean and cruel hearted than what children should deserve. After all, they are humans too and fragile ones at that. You are very responsible and a safe space for them. I wholeheartedly believe that’s cool.
4. When you call people out, you do so with evidence. I do like that a lot, you don’t just accuse people but rather keep collected and calm even if you are angry or despise the situation that you were put into.
5. Did you ever take a look at your side profile? You are quite ethereal, you have such an unique beauty to you. I do also believe that you look beautiful in your home country’s traditional clothing style:
6. You are stubborn, but not in a sense of annoying people or being selfishly caught up in your desires. This is a stubbornness that is found in people with leader like qualities, that people can rely on. You are stubborn in a sense of wanting to create a better future for yourself and those around you who you deem to deserve it. - bc let’s face it, some humans suck. -
7. I am sorry if this sounds weird, but your hand is always occupied with something. You are a very busy person, even if you might not believe so. You gotta do this, and you gotta do that. You have many interests, hobbies and responsibilities too. Yet you manage to juggle them so well, it’s hard to guess when you are stressed out.
8. Whenever you are around you light up people’s day and mood. You are such a sunshine child, people love to have you around. Even if you believe that’s not the case, people do appreciate you a lot more than you realise.
9. If you have a love for photography I hope that you know that you have a beautiful talent. You are amazing at taking pictures, making them pretty and seeing the beauty in every single little thing even if other people might not be able to do so.
10. You are really good with finances and saving up despite the anxiety it causes you. Give yourself a pat on the back because that is not something many people are able to truly say about themselves. Many people in this pile were raised in a way to appreciate money but not let it consume you, which I think you nailed pretty good!
— ✮⋆˙ somewhere over the rainbow - israel kamakawiwo’ole , early 00s & 10s hawaii , crying at night , daydreaming for hours , ‘thank goodness ‘ , my little pony , new hyper fixation , heat , ten to five , hair being washed by someone else , flamingos , pimples ? , papaya - sorry, ik gross to mention right after , pink skincare bottles , 555 , juliet , lucifer , 10th house
my dearest little lamb your energy was the calmest, sweetest and most welcoming out of all the piles. I am truly happy that you decided to read my pac / participate in it. it was truly a pleasant experience to channel for you 🫶🏻 thank you for reading
paid readings
#tarot#tarotblr#tarot community#tarot blog#tarot reading#free tarot#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick a number#spirituality#astroblr#paid readings#free tarot reading#astro community#what else do I tag#y’all isn’t my king so handsome on those pics bc I think he is#idk just enjoy reading
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What Will Your Future Child Love About You?
- a pick a card.
one two three
explanation.
I always see people say that there are many forms of love, not just romantic. Which, they are correct in. Yet, they still have a narrow view on it and refer to friendship as an example, or if they are big hearted their pet… Which is completely fine, I just felt a desire to create a pick a card that’s focused on love but none of those things. I never saw a pick a card with this topic before, neither on youtube or on tumblr. Could just be me though. Felt like making it anyway. If you don’t want children, that’s cool, I chose this topic because I would like to be a mother one day. This reading also applies to the first child you will have, or you know, the next one.
disclaimer.
Remember to take things with a grain of salt, and only take what resonates. Not because I don’t trust my skills, but because several people read pacs, what’s not meant for you could mean the world for someone else. Besides, this is for entertainment and the energy surrounding you or the overall situation could change any second. Life is unpredictable.
how to pick your pile.
There is always several ways to pick a pile, and sometimes maybe multiple call for us. You can pick the one that you can’t take your eyes off, even if there’s another picture you might find prettier. You can ask your guides to guide you in choosing a pile, or go with the old regular closing your eyes and picking whichever one your eyes land on. I usually do that too.
proof read?
Unfortunately no. Please know that I would never put anything in my PAC with harmful intentions towards you or anybody else.
one
You, my dear pile one will be so loved for so many reasons! It’s truly incredible. Even though you might not think that you will be an awesome parent - maybe now, maybe in the future -, trust me, your child will think otherwise! First of all, they will have this adoration towards you staying calm even in stressful situations and knowing how to handle things, how to take care of them and provide a solution and smooth things out. This is will make them feel safe next to you, and with time calm down as they see that you yourself are calm too. Of course, you wouldn’t always be calm, but you wouldn’t show even when you are scared so there is someone grounded in the situation that can take charge even if just on an emotional level. - I am saying this because your spouse will help you out when things are hard, not because you aren’t capable. -
Another thing here seems to be that you will respect their privacy and love life, as long as they are safe you will let them love safely and explore their interests as much as they need to in order to be happy. You let them be independent all while allowing them to rely on you and come to you when they need it. They know that this isn’t something everyone has, so they are all the more grateful to have someone like you as their parent. You are not invasive, you are not judgmental but so full of love, acceptance and understanding towards them. Maybe because you had a childhood where you weren’t happy, so you will do your best to give them everything good that you couldn’t get to have. Full of love, and they will remember it for the rest of their life.
📜 nine of swords, two of cups reversed, four of cups, page of swords reversed, queen of cups side ways, knight of swords side ways - facing the other way -, three of wands
confirmation.
high school musical , adele , nelly - dilemma , ‘i will love you till the day that I die , someone in this pile had to give up on their dream to be a singer/musical artist, hamilton, ‘vanessa open the door please’, ‘ (…)running out of time’ , 777 , city girl , virgo - do you have tummy issues? - , rihanna & eminem / asap rocky , pink nails but w a lot of charms , diverse pile
two
Alright, so I will be honest with you. Your next child will have some developmental issues, but not necessarily life threatening ones. - neither in a sense of d*ath or having trouble living on their own. they will just need a bit of help. - While asking your questions I stuttered a lot despite being calm, so I honestly think your child will have speech issues. Maybe potentially this could be genetic, or anything of the sort.. They will love you because even if you will have a hard time, where your mental health or emotional state will be tested you will never ever in your life will give them a hard time for whatever it is that they are struggling with. You will be loving, kind, gentle and patient with them. Instead of forcing them to learn in a pace which will stress them out you will be the one to learn how to understand what works best for them, and do that. They will really appreciate this. Honestly, regardless of whatever this issue is, I feel sorry because they have such a sensitive heart. Even if they shouldn’t, there is just some things they take to the heart and might feel like they are the problem even though they didn’t do anything. Such a pure child, the sort that’s very well behaved, kind to adults and friendly to their peers.. so these thoughts really could just come from overhearing and misinterpreting conversations or perhaps just overthinking. The funny thing is, I do think you would be their safe haven because they know you would never judge them no matter what heartbreak they are going through. It’s like they can’t imagine a life without you.
Now, I don’t mean to be an asshole or scare anyone unnecessarily. I am not a doctor and I will never be, but the ace of cups reversed here can represent miscarriages or pregnancy complications. So please if you are a woman look after your health. I don’t mean to scare you bc at the end of the day this is a collective general reading and we don’t know each other, but it’s always nice to look after your health regardless.
On a MUCH brighter note though, they will truly appreciate whenever you support their interests. They might be a book worm, so if this is something you two have in common they could happily share their interests with you! They will do it regardless, but your baby would get so excited if you show interest in them.
You will also stand next to them and support them no matter what they go through in life, let that be good or bad, which is something they will really appreciate.
📜 six of pentacles reversed, knight of pentacles, four of wands, ace of cups reversed, the heirophant, the high priestess, seven of pentacles
confirmation.
twilight , renesme , butterflies , cross necklace , bbc , orange hair and freckles - this is for someone who will have a little boy - , ocean green eyes , what was I made for - Billie Eilish , 5sos , ‘i bet on losing dogs’ , mother mary , flashing lights , genetic , obsession with beats / drums ? - not for the child, a reader in this pile -
three
Your child, will sometimes give you headaches.. but they will really love you. If you have ever seen modern family then they sort of remind me of Hailey in the earlier seasons. Bratty, picks fights, doesn’t always understand where her mom is coming from but sees all the hard work that she does and appreciates and loves her mother - both parents really - quite deeply. Not to say I am calling your child bratty, or a brat. That’s not where I am going with this, rather your guides pulled towards letting you know this first so you don’t misunderstand the rest of the reading.
They will, first of all, love that you will give them everything that you can. Y’all will be pretty well off. Not only will you guys be able to live comfortably but they will have a few unnecessary things that they don’t even need or probably forget about in a few years after getting it. They are not ungrateful, rather the opposite. They know this is a privilege, they don’t look down on those less fortunate than you guys, they are just grateful that they have a parent that cares about them so much they would give them everything they ask for, even if things aren’t always the brightest. You also, always, without any question get them out of any trouble or uncomfortable situation and defend them. Won’t matter if they are in the wrong or not, that’s your baby and you will stand by them!
They also love to travel with you! They enjoy your company a lot and to make memories, they always look forward to exploring the world with you. They might also follow you around like a little duckling, even if you only go to the store or to do some super boring errands. Honestly, your kid is an extrovert and super clingy. In a cute way though for sure.
Your dynamic with them reminds me of a tiktok I saw months back, where the teenage kid was piggy back riding the mom and she was annoyed as she recorded saying “look what I have to deal with”, but in reality she truly just appreciated the love. Such an easy going and regular pile, love that for y’all.
📜 nine of pentacles, seven of pentacles, the hermit reversed, knight of swords, four of wands, six of swords, three of wands
confirmation.
thrift shop - macklemore , old house in the balkans/europe in summer - ?? so specific, did you travel back to your home country in summer or planned to? - , moonlight , witch craft , snake , ‘i know a place we can escape ‘ , those fluffy slippers that are like plushies & soft pjs , airplanes , power wires , lime - & cheetos ?? -
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot#tarotblr#astro community#astroblr#free tarot#pick a deck#pick a picture#pick an image#tarot divination#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarot community#tarot cards#didn’t proof read sorry y’all
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Confess.
neteyam x gn!metkayina reader, lo’ak x gn!metkayina reader, aonung x gn!metkayina reader, roxto x gn!omaticaya reader
fluff, a PINCH of jealousy, lips on lips, mentions of blood, fighting
how their feelings for you come to the surface
2.4k words
im aware that aonungs is way shorter than the rest.. 😞 #FREEAONUNG. LO’AK AND ROTXO ARE A PAIN TO WRITE, ESPECIALLY ROTXO. JESUS
Neteyam;
You intricately weaved one string through another, licking your lips in deep focus. Your hand searched the ground for a bead, sliding it onto the two strings once you found one.
You failed to realize that someone had been approaching from behind, flinching hard when you felt the feather-light touch on the small of your back. Snapping your head around you were met with the familiar sight of Neteyam, pulse quickening with nerves instantly.
“Skxawng,” you hissed, gripping onto the necklace like a vice, “you scared me Neteyam.”
He laughed, the sound resonating through one ear and out of the other. It was a sound you could never tire of. “I am sorry,” he whispered, shifting his body to move in front of you, “what are you making?” he asked when he noticed the object in your hands.
“A necklace,” you said coolly.
“For who?” you sensed hesitation in his voice, flicking your gaze up at him without adjusting your head.
“Well, I can’t say. it was supposed to be a surprise,” you mumbled, hinting to him subtly.
His lips formed a tight line, uncertainty etched over his face. A hand reached out and planted itself over yours firmly. At this you froze your ministrations and looked back up to him slowly.
“Who is it for?”
“Neteyam—”
“Oh, come on,” he urged. You sighed and looked down.
Crawling around him, you stopped behind him and he twisted his head to watch you. “Za’u, move your hair.”
He wasted no time in doing so.
You wrapped it around his neck and tied gently, beads clinking against each other while doing so. You moved again and examined the jewelry on his neck.
It was a perfect fit.
Smiling proudly, you drawled closer, locking eyes with him. “Luckily, you arrived just as I was finishing,” you smiled, gaze wandering all over his face.
Neteyam looked at you intensely, an indecipherable expression on his face. Butterflies swarmed the pit of your belly, your heart beating erratically. Opening your mouth to speak again, his golden eyes dropped to your lips.
“Made for you. Only you.” you whispered, fingers still looped around the string of the necklace.
“Yeah?” he grinned, gaze never leaving its place on your lips. You nodded and Neteyam leaned in close, too close. Nerves were attacking your better judgment and you were failing to think of anything other than the close proximity between the two of you.
His eyes darted to yours for some kind of approval, and approval was all he found.
Connecting his lips with yours, a warm hand found solace on your mid-thigh, his free one tugging you in by the waist.
The two of you remained like that until both were quietly gasping for breath.
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Lo’ak;
“Come on bro, it’s now or never,” Neteyam said in a hushed tone, shaking his younger brother by the shoulders.
The pair was staring at you from afar, watching the way you splashed and played around in the water with their sisters and Tsireya. “You’ve been holding out for forever,” he insisted, giving Lo’ak an encouraging push.
He groaned, rolling his shoulders in exasperation. Lo’ak began making shallow, hesitant steps towards the water, insides churning with trepidation. As he neared the water, you took notice and paused, smiling at him.
“Lo’ak! Come! We were just about to swim,” you waved him over, turning on your heel and venturing deeper into the water. He quickly rushed over and ducked his head underwater.
You were already several feet under, but you stopped to look up at him.
“Hurry,” you signed, remaining still while waiting for him to catch up.
He swam as quickly as he could, when he reached you, you intertwined your hand with his and swam toward the rest of the group.
As you did so, Lo’ak had to refrain from pulling you back. He wanted to take you somewhere you could be alone to tell you, but he silently followed alongsuit.
You stopped at the large rock that everyone typically practiced breathing at and hoisted yourself onto it, followed by Kiri and the others. The group sat around in a circle and began to engage in conversation. Lo’ak, of course, choosing a spot next to you.
After a while of chatter you found yourself growing bored, so you wordlessly slipped away and into the water. No one paid much mind, other than a certain someone.
As you dove deeper, you really took into account just how much beauty the reef held, reaching out to touch the beautiful scenery and animals. Spinning around, to say that you were surprised to see Lo’ak, so close into your vicinity of space, would be a major understatement.
His eyes widened and he moved back immediately, signing a quick apology before moving closer cautiously.
“Come to the surface? I want to tell you something.” you watched his hands, meeting his eyes and nodding slowly before resurfacing.
You pushed the hair out of your face as soon as you breached the water, Lo’aks head popping up not too long after you. “What’s up?” you asked, brows furrowing slightly. You watched as he looked back to everyone, turning back to you and grabbing your arm gently before guiding you behind a larger rock.
You were confused, but played along without complaint.
“Listen, I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes. Nervousness slowly began to trickle into your system as you grabbed his shoulder, brows furrowed deeper this time. “What’s this about Lo’ak?”
“I like you,” he spat abruptly, “I like you so much.”
You froze, hand slowly slipping from his shoulder. His own hand burst out of the water and held it, searching your eyes for any twinge of rejection or disgust.
Your bottom lip quivered a bit as you registered his words, face flushing and heart racing. “You like me? You’re sure of this?” your voice sounded nothing like you as you spoke.
“I’ve never been more sure— not of anything—” he whispered hastily, eyes glowing with desperation.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
When you’d returned to the others stuck to each other like moth to a flame, you would have expected some reaction out of them. But not an ounce of shock came from them— any of them.
You were told with utmost smugness that you ‘showed hardly any restraint when the other was around’, and that the attraction between you two was palpable to anyone who had eyes.
Sheepishly, you lowered your head and leaned further into Lo’ak, who greedily took in the feeling of your touch and returned it with enamored words and embraces.
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Ao’nung;
The last thing you’d probably ever expected to see was the eldest son of the Olo’eyktan stumbling into your marui.
“What?” you blinked, taken off guard. It wasn’t quite a question, but then again, you wanted answers.
Ao’nung stood wordlessly, eyes boring into yours. The awkwardness of the encounter had the temperature feeling hotter than it really was.
You stood and took a few steps, stopping right in front of him. Still, he was quiet. He grabbed onto your forearm and dragged you outside, pressing your backside into the soft material of the marui.
“Everything oka—” you wanted to ask, but this had Ao’nung sighing loudly and dropping his head, as if he was getting ready to say something he really, really didn’t want to say.
“Ao’nung!” you heard the familiar voice of Rotxo. It sounded extremely close.
Almost as if it was coming from the opposite side of your—
His head lifted with quick speed, bringing his body impossibly close to yours. You were utterly trapped between the exterior of your home and the warmth of the boy you were head over heels in love with.
“Let me kiss you,” he pleaded, breath fanning over your lips. The request alone left you breathless and took all words from your mouth. Sounds of multiple hurried footsteps were heard from around the marui, hinting that Rotxo was approaching quickly. Too quickly for Ao’nungs liking.
He hissed in frustration, meeting your gaze.
“Okay. Yes.” you whispered, in a matter of seconds his soft lips were on yours.
“Ao’nung you wuss!” Rotxo’s laughter resonated through the air, “I knew you wouldn’t—” his sentence quieted and never finished. You pried one eye open, not so much that it was noticeable, but just enough to see the look of astonishment on their faces.
The sight alone had you smiling into the kiss, bringing your hands to his chest while his fingers gently caressed the skin of your outer thigh.
Their footsteps could be heard walking away, yet you wanted nothing more than to continue feeling his touches.
He was first to break the kiss, leaving you chasing his lips for more. He gazed at you through hooded lids.
A smug grin broke out onto your face.
“Did you wanna tell me just what that was, Ao’nung?” you queried, voice full of amusement.
He clicked his tongue and lifted himself off of you, walking away.
Your jaw fell slack and you took off after him, yanking his tail playfully, “Oh no! We are not done here!”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Rotxo;
Rotxo had a genuine staring problem.
From the day you and your family arrived at the Awa’atlu village, seeking a safe sanctuary, he would eye you up and down until you had to move yourself away from him.
Furthermore, whenever his friends would hurl insults at you, he would take to defending you and your siblings against their harsh words.
Apparently, it was extremely uncharacteristic of him, as you’ve caught him and Ao’nung quarreling about it once or twice.
“Seriously, what’s gotten into you?” Ao’nung grumbled, throwing a fish to an ilu. “I’m starting to think those freaks have really gotten into your head.”
Rotxo stood in silence beside him, glowering at his side profile. When Ao’nung turned to look at him, a wide grin broke out onto his face “Don’t tell me they already have?” he scoffed, chest rising and falling with laughter.
“Cut it out, Ao’nung.”
The teasing smile faded slowly, with him now staring at Rotxo with a hardened jaw. “Or what? Gonna get your freak friends on me? They’re not even real Na’vi, Skxawng.”
Rotxo hissed, fangs gleaming as he flaunted them.
Ao’nung mirrored his actions.
It was obvious what was next to come, and just as you were about to step in, the sound of a horn sounded out.
Many Metkayinas rushed out of their homes, jumping onto their ilu’s hastily.
In the distance, long and heavy fins could be seen lifting up in the water.
The Tulkun had returned.
Ao’nung glared at Rotxo for a moment longer, before turning and running to join the others.
You were too busy watching him to realize that Rotxo had spotted you, staring at you with an intensity that had goosebumps rising on your arms. You crossed your arms and tentatively held his eyes, slowly backing away to join the others as quickly as you could.
Now, you were put in the same position, watching as he and Ao’nung began to argue over how defensive he was over you and your siblings.
Ao’nung was first to lunge at Rotxo, knocking him onto the ground. He growled, standing quickly and whirling around, slapping Ao’nung clean across the face with his tail.
He was grabbed by the ankle and knocked down once more, the left side of his face making a collision with the ground.
You cringed, knowing it would more than likely leave a nasty mark.
He lifted himself and climbed on top of Ao’nung, bringing his fist down to his face several times before he was pushed off, now being Ao’nungs turn to land a few.
While the situation was beyond humorous to you, you figured it would be best to put a stop to it before it got any worse.
Quickly moving on the sand, you mustered up all of your strength and shoved Ao’nung away, defensively standing in front of Rotxo.
At first, he wore an expression of anger, and then realization.
“So this is why you’ve been acting like this, huh? Over some five-fingered dreamwalker,” he chuckled dryly, wiping some blood from his split open lip.
You hissed, eyes darkening. “I am no such thing. Leave now.”
He circled around you, eyes never leaving your form. Stopping for a moment, he tilted his head, examining you thoroughly.
Rotxo had stood ages ago, only now taking the spot next to you.
“Are you so stupid that you cannot understand what I said? Leave. Now.” you seethed, glaring daggers onto him.
Scoffing, Ao’nung slowly backed away and left, never bothering to look back.
After a stretched moment of silence, you turned to look at Rotxo, only to find that he had already been looking at you.
There it was— that same stare with the intensity that had you feeling like he was burning lasers into your skin with just his eyes.
“Za’u,” you grabbed his hand and led him to your marui.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You had gathered all your medical supplies and was now kneeled in front of Rotxo, gently taking care of his wounds.
Lightly dabbing his open gashes with a disinfectant, he sharply exhaled at the sting and grasped your wrist without realizing it. When he did though, he was quick to snatch his hand back, at this you smiled softly.
“All done.” you reassured him, packing up whatever leftover material you had and throwing away used items. You failed to realize that Rotxo watched your every move, eyes never daring to leave you.
When you turned your attention back to him, you took notice of the newfound glint in his eyes.
“Why do you stare at me all the time?” you asked while sitting yourself in front of him. His ears perked up and he looked away instantly.
“I do not,” he said, defiant.
You scoffed, moving your head so that you could meet his eyes. He refused to look at you, standing abruptly. “Thanks for the help,” he grumbled, making an attempt at stomping away, but you were quick to grab hold of his hand.
“Rotxo, do not leave. I am truly curious.”
He paused, internally battling himself. It wasn’t long until he gave in and fell to the ground before you.
“I don’t think you are a freak.” he whispered so quiet, you almost didn’t catch it.
You blinked, a smile pulling at your lips. “Ah. How reassuring.”
“No! …No.” he seethed, tugging at your wrist firmly. “You don’t understand what I’m saying.”
You traced patterns into the back of his palm, searching his eyes with furrowed brows.
“So tell me what you’re saying.”
A few beats of silence passed as Rotxo averted his eyes, nervously pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth. It took ages before he finally mustered up the courage to look at you.
“Oel ngati kameie.”
©olangi 2023
za’u = come
oel ngati kameie = i see you
skxawng = idiot, moron
#avatar x reader#avatar 2#avatar#avatar way of water#atwow neteyam#atwow#atwow x reader#rotxo x reader#rotxo#aonung x reader#aonung#ao’nung x reader#ao’nung#lo’ak x reader#lo’ak#neteyam#neteyam x reader#fluff
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Take Me to Church
Summary: John MacTavish, the black sheep of his traditional chatolic family, hides his polyamorous relationship with his boyfriend Simon and you their pregnant plus-size girlfriend from his judgmental relatives. When you visit his family while being 9 months pregnant you need to face the reality of his cruel family.
Normaly I think his parents are the most supportive folks but this idea popped up in my head.
TW: Pregnancy, mention of labour, mention of homophobia, fat phobia and strong catholic beliefs, has a happy end
John MacTavish was always the black sheep of his family, and for most of his adult life, he was okay with it. Seeing his family only three times a year made him endure the hate he got from his brothers. In their humble opinion, he was wasting his life; a career in the military wasn’t sustainable. He would risk his life for what? For no wife to come home to and no bairn. If they had seen his single-room bachelor apartment in Glasgow, they would cringe even more. Moving to Glasgow was another thing they disapproved of. He could have lived on the farm like every other MacTavish, crowded with all his nephews. He really loved them, but coming back from every deployment to help on the farm left him with no freedom and several set-up dates with "proper" Scottish girls.
If it had been his grandma’s choice, he’d marry a thin, catholic Scottish girl. And despite the girls being absolutely beautiful, it just wasn’t what he wanted. John MacTavish only had four wants in his life, and his family could only respect one of them (the want for a good whiskey). Becoming a Military Captain wasn’t one of them, dating his Lieutenant (coming out as BI would be an early grave for his grandparents and dad), and his fourth want was you, the beautiful, soft girl who made him and his Lieutenant go crazy. His family would have approved of you being a girl, but you being an atheist, not from Scotland, a plus-sized girl (which he and Simon absolutely adored), and you being in a relationship with both of them at the same time, would be another matter. Sometimes he laughed thinking about what would scare his family more: him being bi, only dating soft, curvy women, being in a poly relationship, or dating two "foreigners." He decided the poly thing would be the final death blow for his family.
So he hid this side of himself for years, hurting himself and, more importantly in his eyes, hurting you and Simon. Both of you tried hard not to act hurt when you spent another Christmas without him because he needed to attend his family gatherings without his dark secret.
The thing about secrets is they can never be kept, especially if his secret was crying in his strong arms with the famous device with two lines in your hands. “Johnny, what am I gonna do?” you sobbed while he tried everything to ease your mind. He knew it was his, always knew. Simon couldn’t be the dad; he had decided as soon as he was 18 to go to the doctors and take the responsibility to never have children.
The first months of the pregnancy were beautiful despite all the throwing up. When you thought you had two guard dogs before the pregnancy, you were so wrong. You didn’t even know that people could get so protective. Simon was attached to your hip every second he wasn’t on deployment, shooting death glares at anyone who even dared to look at you. Johnny didn’t allow you to clean or cook. “Won't let ma pregnant girl cook. What kind of lad do you think I am?” Johnny huffed as you complained about being pregnant and not sick. Even the sex got better; you were living the life with your two perfect boyfriends.
To his surprise, Simon was happy about the news. A child wasn’t something he thought was in his cards, but with you and Johnny, it could be possible. Even if he had the fear that the baby would only accept Johnny as his dad, you immediately told him that he was an idiot—the child would see him as the dad he was. "Who cares about fucking biology?"
Until your last weeks of pregnancy, when it was finally time to drop the bomb on Johnny’s parents. You wanted grandparents and uncles for your baby so badly. In the end, you regretted your decision.
Scotland, Kingussie
You wore a cute sundress, one of the only things that still fitted you since the pregnancy. You looked radiant; pregnancy suited you. And Johnny’s hand in yours, waiting for his parents to open the door. Johnny told you only half the truth when he said his parents were happy to meet you. They were, they just didn’t know half of it. And you were long asleep when Johnny and Simon had a fight about him finally telling his parents about him and that he mattered too. This didn’t help you prepare for what would happen once you entered the cozy farm in Scotland.
The door opened, and an older woman hugged Johnny immediately. “We missed you, my sweet boy. Show me the lovely lass you brought home.” One glance at you was enough to make her gasp. “Dear God, you’re pregnant!” Her blue eyes scrutinized you. To her credit, she really tried to hide her disgust, not wanting to judge you. “Is it yours, son?”
“Mom, of course it’s mine.”
“Well, congratulations.”
She walked inside the house while you and Johnny removed your shoes. Both of you fell into an awkward silence. “Johnny, what the fuck was that?”
“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. They’re a bit catholic, but they mean well, I promise.”
“Johnny…”
“Please, give them a small chance, and then we can leave whenever you want.”
You sat down at the enormous table. Fourteen pairs of blue eyes stared at you like you were a foreign alien invading their beloved home.
“So, you’re Johnny’s lass?” his father asked gruffly.
“Yes, Johnny and I have been dating for four years,” you smiled softly. Simon and Johnny were the best four years of your life.
“Four years, so I assume that bairn is yours, Johnny?”
“Of course it’s his,” you snapped, offended that he even asked. You would never cheat on Simon and Johnny. There wasn’t even a reason—the relationship and the sex were perfect.
“I didn’t talk to you, lass. I asked my son.”
“Dad, of course it’s mine.”
“So, you’re telling me that you compromised that poor girl?”
“Compromised?” you asked, confused.
“Not even English by her lack of vocabulary,” his grandfather chimed in.
“I told you, Johnny, you can’t just let your urges win. Look at you, knocking that poor woman up and not even asking for her hand in pòsadh,” his father gripped the table, trying to calm himself down.
“Do you know how much shame you bring to this family, Johnny? I would have given you your great-grandma’s ring, but no, you decided to take the MacTavish name even further into ruin. We accepted all your poor choices, lad, but now you’ve got a non-Scottish girl knocked up without any wedlock.”
“It’s not like the ring would have fit on her fat finger anyway,” his brother mocked, and that was Johnny’s final straw. He grabbed your hand, ready to leave.
“I won’t bother you with my shame anymore. Come, mo leannan.”
“Please, Johnny, stay. I promise Dad and Grandpa won’t say a word. We just never heard of you having a girlfriend, and now she’s pregnant. It’s a big shock.”
Johnny wanted to protest, but you really wanted your baby to have grandparents to love her. You whispered in Johnny’s ear that you needed to stay, at least try it for Sophia’s sake.
Another choice you regretted as soon as you saw haggis on your plate. “Johnny, what’s this?”
“I’m sorry, mo leannan. I told them you’re vegetarian,” he said apologetically.
“It’s good for the baby, lass. At least try it before you mock it,” she said, and you hated yourself for being a people-pleaser because the minute you tasted it, you ran to the toilet, throwing it up.
“That was a tad dramatic.”
“I get it, lass. When I was pregnant with my cute Johnny, I couldn’t hold anything in. Do you already have a name?” His mother really tried to make amends, giving you a bit of slack while his other family members couldn’t.
“Yes, we thought about Sophia.”
“That’s not a Scottish name,” his mother’s tone was full of disappointment.
“You cheated on John!” his grandpa started to scream at you.
“What?”
“The MacTavish family has never born a girl. Never.”
“Grandpa, you better shut your mouth.”
“How dare you talk this way to me in my own house!”
“Mo leannan, start the car already. We’re leaving.”
You went as fast as your swollen pregnant legs could carry you, trying to close your ears to the conversation.
“You won’t see my bairn. You disrespected the fucking love of my life. Who cares if she isn’t Scottish, or not Catholic, or fat? I fucking love her like this. She is the most intelligent, funny, beautiful woman on earth, and I’m going to have at least three babies with her, and you won’t see any of them. Or me. And by the way, I also fuck a man too.” He ignored the screams of his grandfather, how he was disowned, the pleading of his mother to rethink his choice. All he needed was to get back to you, the baby, and drive you to Simon, his perfect family.
“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. I should have done this years ago.”
“I just want to go home, Johnny. I’ve had enough.” You weren’t sure if you wanted to be mad at him or thankful for protecting you and your baby like this. But before you could decide on that, your shoes were already soaked. “Johnny, the water broke.”
“Yeah, I’ll fix it at home.”
“What?”
"Well, I don’t have a screwdriver here, and I won’t ask my dad for one."
"Why do you need a screwdriver?"
"To fix the car. You said the water broke; you meant the leak, right? Simon was already on it, but I guess it’s opened again."
"No, Johnny, my fucking water broke."
He stared at you in horror before he scooped you up and started to run. "Where are you running, Johnny?"
"To the hospital."
"We have a bloody car."
"But it’s leaking."
"Johnny, I’m leaking, not the bloody car," you screamed in pain after one of your first contractions.
"Fucking hell, I can bring that baby. I helped a cow with labor; it’s the same, right?"
"Johnny, you’re going to drive me to a fucking hospital. I’m not some highland cow."
-----------------------------
After 16 hours of painful labor (MacTavish babies are huge), your sweet girl was finally born, and Johnny didn’t even faint, much to Simon’s surprise, who almost caused six car crashes on the way to you. And now you were lying in bed, barely awake, looking at your tiny bundle of joy in Simon’s burly arms. It was enough to make a grown man cry. Kyle, Johnny, and Simon were just amazed by the baby.
The door went wide open. "How is my girl?" John ran towards your bed, looking to see if you were injured, hurt, and alive, holding you tight in his arms. He didn’t even look once at Sophia; he was just too afraid about you. "Sorry, I was afraid something happened to you with these muppets." You always wished to experience a father’s love, and right now you realized you didn’t need to have Johnny’s dad or grandpa for this—you had Captain Price.
"It’s okay, Dad," and this was enough to make Price bawl his eyes out. He always wanted a daughter, but infertility was a cruel curse on him. He kissed your forehead. "Let me look at my granddaughter." He accepted this role without hesitation, when you saw your baby between her two loving fathers, her uncle Kyle, and her Grandpa Price, you knew she already had the family you were searching for.
A/N: I don't approve of anything his family said if this isn't clear, I was almost in the same situation (without pregnancy) meeting the strongly prejudiced grandma of my partner. So please don't come at me with hate, already have enough of it in my asks :)
#cod#call of duty#cod x reader#tf 141#captain john price#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#soapghost#john price#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soap x reader#cod au#john mactavish x reader#tf 141 x reader#johnny mactavish#soap mw2#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#ghost#simon riley#simon my beloved#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x soap#ghost x y/n
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would you do satosugu discovering their "friend" (both of them have a fatass crush on m!reader) is a teen dad, and just all of them chaotically taking care of a baby. (like those collage students raising a baby tiktoks?)
ok so technically i only write for blue lock buttttttttttt… i am more than willing to make an exception for this. this is also my favorite niche of satosugu fics so im super honored someone requested it from me
tags: male reader has a foster daughter bc hell yeah girl dads, unnamed child bc that's too much for me, reader is a sorcerer, found family but in a janked up kinda way, whipped satosugu, pre-hidden inventory so everyone is in high school in this this a long one yall
part two coming soon!
★ when assigned an extremely harsh mission, you find an orphaned child barely a year old within all the rumble. you soon found out her family was recently killed in the destruction. unsure of what would happen to her after this, you decided to take her as your own.
★ scared of any judgment, you didn’t tell anyone about her so only a few higher-ups were aware. luckily you were allowed to live off campus so you two could have more space and privacy.
★ however the physical effects of raising a kid all on your own at such a young age were certainly showing. you came to school visibly worn down, often falling asleep in the middle of class and taking more absences than usual.
★ the first people to notice, of course, were gojo and geto. as nosy as they were, they tried not to push it, knowing you had just come back from a really taxing mission. though they did get more and more suspicious whenever you didn’t let them visit your new place.
★ however one day, they did spot you out in public wearing a baby carrier with, of course, a baby they’d never seen before resting right inside. they immediately came up to you and bombarded you with multiple questions before you got them to chill out and explained everything.
★ wanting you to take some time off (and win you over), they offer to take care of her regularly. who were you to refuse? after all, it is free babysitting and you were already using up so much money hiring actual babysitters.
★ during their first babysitting job, you thanked them profusely before going back into your room and instantly falling asleep the moment your body hit your bed, taking a very well-deserved nap.
★ you see, gojo was already pretty hesitant about you having a kid around. this was before he took in megumi so he found basically any child gross and annoying. (though he’s somehow even more attracted to you now that you’re a dad.)
★ coughs dilf lover gojo i mean what?
★ so when gojo picked up your baby for the first time, she immediately cried when they made eye contact and he got so so personally offended that he started rethinking this whole babysitting thing.
★ the first thirty minutes or so of taking care of your kid went pretty okay. that was until she started crying again and neither of them knew why.
★ you see, these idiots have no idea how to care for a child.
★ they frantically tried to calm her down and figure out what was wrong without needing to wake you. they checked if she was hurt in any way, she definitely wasn’t hungry since they already fed her, nor did she need to be changed. gojo even called shoko to see if she could do anything.
★ when they eventually saw her crawling towards your room and sobbing right outside your door, hesitantly let her in to see her climb onto your bed and lay down with you, realizing she just missed you the whole time. that entire experience made them so exhausted that they almost climbed into bed with you. but when they saw the gratitude on your face after you woke up, it made it all worth it.
★ luckily the next few times they watched over her, babysitting got more and more easy as she grew used to them.
★ they start coming over so often to look after her that your place basically becomes their second home.
★ geto is in charge of doing her hair since the last time gojo attempted it, it was just a big mess of hair ties and ribbons. geto’s definitely not complaining since he loves to get her ready. in fact, geto does a lot of the responsible stuff when taking care of her since gojo, hmm what’s a nice way to put it, lacks a lot of the necessary skills.
★ oh yeah, remember what i said about gojo hating younger children? yeah, that completely changes as he spends more time with your daughter. he’s almost always playing with her or showing up with a brand new toy or stuffed animal just for her. he ends up loving her so so much and wants to be her cool fun dad.
★ unfortunately both of them are way too nice when it comes to disciplining her. they let her get away with so much. late bedtimes, too much tv, grabbing any treats she wants off the grocery store shelves. how can they not spoil such an adorable little girl like her!?
★ what’s also unfortunate is how they try to drag you into it.
“come on, y/n. let loose a little. cake for dinner does sound pretty appetizing right now.”
“come on. just let her watch ten more minutes before bed.” gojo lazed on the couch with her on his lap. “besides this cartoon is starting to get good.”
“come onnn… just let her buy it.” geto held up a sparkly pink dress you already told him she doesn’t need with his own sparkles in his eyes. “she’ll look so cute in it. i promise i’ll pay you back.”
★ their hearts explode whenever you’re affectionate with her. they love the way you gently rock her in your arms while humming a sweet lullaby, slowly lulling her to sleep. the way they see you kiss her forehead after placing her into the crib before quickly turning around and acting like they weren’t staring the whole time. they fall head over heels for you for probably the twentieth time by now since they met you but those times were definitely the hardest.
★ they’ve been in her life for a good while so when she begins talking more frequently, she starts calling them her papas as she does with you. gojo aka former “ugh kids are so gross and icky” feels his heart combusting whenever she calls him that and he owns that title proudly. meanwhile geto feels so endeared and honored that she sees him that way.
★ “we’re not the stepdads. we’re the dads that stepped up!” looking asses.💀
★ the secret of you having a kid doesn’t last for long since these two can’t keep quiet about it. they’re just way too happy and want to show her off. especially gojo who scrolls through 100s of photos of her while gushing about her to basically anyone who’ll listen. shoko and nanami are the most common targets whenever this happens.
★ he even ends up showing photos of you and your daughter napping together (that you had no idea he took), making you snatch his phone away in embarrassment.
★ whenever you guys go out on family dates to go to the beach or picnicking, geto always takes the time to dress her up with pretty hairstyles and cute little outfits. he absolutely loves doting on her.
★ they love her with all their hearts and would do absolutely anything for her. she’s so lucky to have three weird dads take care of her and raise her. a very odd and… unconventional family dynamic but an amazing one nonetheless. this family only grows bigger and bigger once gojo takes in megumi and geto practically adopts mimiko and nanako.
please read my rules before following
taglist: @userwithlotsoftime @lucas2060 @kiiyoooo
ayo we rocking with the star bullet points?? 🗣️⁉️
#★ snail.writes ★#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#satosugu x male reader#satosugu x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x male reader#gojo x male reader#geto x male reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen fluff#finished this up while watching drew gooden
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Second chances.
Alexia putellas x coach!reader.
Part 1. Part 2
Summary : what happened that night.
4 years ago
“ stop staring at me and focus on the meeting.” you subtly text your girlfriend from across the room. You were sitting behind the computer so that you can control the slides and she was sitting with the rest of the team. You shoot each other a quick smile and redirect your focus towards the presentation. Once the meeting is over you grab your laptop and head towards the entrance. You were then stopped by Jorge vilda. “ As a part of my coaching staff I expect you to be present at my meetings not just with your body but also with your mind.” you look at him confused. “ giggling and smiling at your phone while I was talking is not acceptable.”
“ sir it was just one text.” you try to justify yourself. “ Well tell your boyfriend that while you are in camp this team is your number 1 priority.” you didn't have a chance to say anythiçng because he left as soon as he finished talking. You brush off his comments and text your girlfriend about her whereabouts. You then head to her room as she instructed you. When you enter you put your laptop on the table and find your usual place next to her body. You nuzzle on her chest and just lay there as she strokes your hair.
“ tough day?” she asked alexia.
“ something like that.” you respond. You then turn around so that you can face her.
“ Your free kicks were amazing today at practice. You might even be the number 1 in the upcoming games. your reaction time is also over the charts. It's near perfect.”
“ This is becoming my favorite thing in camp.”
“ what me telling you about how good you are?”
“ no, you sharing the bed with me.”
“ You know I can't stay for long. If he finds out about us we both are out of jobs.”
“ how would he know? Please just tonight and I won't ask you again. I really need you.” Once alexia asked something of you you couldn't say no. Besides, you really missed her. “ okay but just for tonight.” you then kiss her and cuddle with her for the rest of the night. *
Since you didn't come back to your room your phone died. So as soon as you sneaked out of alexia’s room, headed to yours and plugged it in. Once you got out of the shower you unlocked it to find 10 missed calls, and 6 messages from none other than vilda. You panic as you open the messages.
Why are you not answering? Why are you not in your room? Where are you? I can't keep looking for you all night? Fine if you don't answer i will go look for answers myself?
Your heartbeat was faster than it had ever been. You take a deep breath change out of your robe and pick up your phone to call him.
“ conference room now.” he says as soon as he picks up leaving you no room for debate.
Once you go to the conference room in which you were alone with him. He pointed to a chair so you sit there he doesn't though he kept standing. You found yourself speechless.
“ I employ you with my team because I trust you. I think you have good judgment. But you failed me.” you feel a lump form in your through. “ You failed me not only with your choice of lifestyle but also who you choose to corrupt and involve with you in this messed up situation. .” you close your eyes so that you won't cry while he still stands in front of you. “ I gave you a job, a good one. I thought you were my right hand and that you would replace me when i decide to leave. But forming an indecent relationship with one of my players is off limits.” you feel a knife jam in your heart and a tear leaves your eye. “ Your relationship is wrong and shouldnt have happened. You are lucky I like you so I am gonna give you a chance to change. Break up with her and apologize to me and you can keep your job and she won't be called up anymore.
His last sentences changed your stance from scared to angry.
“ Who the hell do you think you are?” you snap.
“ I am the one who gave you two jobs and I am the one who can take it away from you. Plus I am trying to correct your choice of lifestyle because it is wrong.”
“ choice of lifestyle. You have to be fucking kidding me. I love alexia putellas, i love a woman. Does it bother you that I love her? Well go fuck yourself because nothing will tear us apart. And if you take this job away from me I will sue you even if it's the last thing I will do in life.” you were angry and furious.
“ Nobody wants you here. The players feel uncomfortable because of your new relationship as confessed by the captain last night. So sue me if you want you won't win. Now hand over your badge, get your stuff and leave. You are fired." His blast words left you lifeless. “ as confessed by the captain last night” last night you were sleeping with alexia so it had to irene. You move on autopilot and almost break her door as you knock so hard. Once she stood in front of you you didn't find it in you to scream or fight.
“ why?” you ask, sounding defeated.
“ He asked me where you were and he threatened to kick me out of the team.” she said calmly.
“ So you rat me and your friend out. You couldn't have told him I went for a run. We are friend irene. I didn't think you would betray me like that. I trusted you with the thing I love most in life and you took it away from me so that you could protect yourself. You could have lied.” you say crying.
“ It was all bound to be exposed with time.”
“ Is that what you are going to tell yourself so that you can sleep at night? You didn't have to tell him that my relationship made you uncomfortable. You didn't have to tell him anything. You ruined my life irene. I lost my job because of you. I will never forgive you for that. never. “ you turned your back and left. You went to Alexia's room after. Once she saw your red eyes she took you in for a hug. In her warmth you cried. You cried because of Irene's betrayal. You cried because you lost your job. You cried because you lost everything.
“ I love you. I love so much amor.” the way alexia said it felt weird to you so you got out of her hold and looked at her. She wiped the tears from your cheeks and took your lips for a searing kiss. She kissed you with so much passion and hunger it left your lips red.
“ Alexia, what's wrong?” you ask concerned.
“ He talked to me and asked me to choose between you and the team and I chose the team.” she said with tears in her eyes.
“ why is it that everybody say things so calmly like its nothing? Is my love for you worth nothing?”
“ My whole family, my father’s legacy, everyone depends on me to make them proud. I need to stay in the team for them.”
“ And what about me? Is everything we dreamt about gone in the wind?”
“ This is more painful than I could have ever imagined. I never thought we would have to leave each other. But my family comes first.”
Her words cut through your heart and left nothing behind. You kiss her again for the last time; go to your room, collect your things and leave the hotel without talking to anyone. You felt your heart turn to stone as you saw the hotel in your rearview mirror. That day you lost your job, your life, your dream, your purpose, your love and also your heart. That day destroyed you without mercy.
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso x reader#alexia putellas angst#alexia putellas fic#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia x reader#alexia putellas#espwnt
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Co-Conspirator
Yandere! Bruce Wayne x Yandere! (Fem!) Reader
> romantic > summary: Ever since you asked him to help with your… reconnaissance, he’s been nothing but a great help. And judgment-free. Batman is as paranoid and insane as you are, and that is why he is quite possibly your best friend. > word count: 1285 > [ a/n: just something short, something cute, something for the Girls. i think mutually yandere relationships are a fun dynamic not very explored!!! Still, its pretty mild yandereism here. Trying to warm up to writing bitches who are Actual Freaks . uhhh lmk what you think. hope i communicated the reader's backstory well. the fact she's only a little crazy is amazing, all things considered. i'd love to make a whole fic of this but alas, i am Not Very Good At Plot]
You are dating Bruce Wayne. You bite your lip at the thought, hoping it disguises your shit-eating grin. You have been told you look like a total cheeseball when you daydream.
It’s a month-long relationship that’s still currently under the radar because you don’t have the luxury of a dual superhero-civilian persona. First, getting trapped in a pocket dimension for 10 years because something-something-Speedforce; next, being booted back into your home dimension and falling out the sky; then, wreaking havoc in Gotham City with your new, uncontrollable powers unmasked and in clear view of Gotham City choppers and news cameras… These things secretive identities do not make. No matter.
Hence why you tend to stay holed up in the Justice League’s Watchtower or your apartment, and rarely go out otherwise. But a month ago, you were bored. Neurotic. You decided to help your good buddy Batman. Fly to Gotham with your power and surprise him on patrol. And, well, you ended up saving Bruce Wayne (and hundreds of other socialites) after a three ton bowling ball careened into a gala at Wayne Tower, courtesy of the Riddler. Your telekinesis kept the whole building from collapsing. You guess that must’ve really turned Bruce Wayne on, because he was shortly afterwards chatting you up and won your phone number.
On your first date with Gotham’s Most Eligible Bachelor, you blurt out, flustering, that you don’t want to overshadow his charity and all the good work he’s doing. Bruce Wayne dating anyone makes headlines – let alone a superhero. Yes, yes. You simply didn’t want to cramp Bruce Wayne’s philanthropic style. It wasn’t that you were utterly unprepared to have that level of media scrutiny on you and were insecure about dating a man completely out of your league.
Bruce thanked you for your concern and then kissed you deeply, expertly, for your trouble.
You replay that night’s events in your head, and– goddamnit– cheeseball. You clear your throat and clear your mind.
“I think I’ll want a copy of his birth certificate from Gotham General.”
You glance at Batman, who is seated beside you, and see the corner of his lips quirk.
“Because you’re going to pull up his birth chart.” Batman knows astrology is an enduring interest of yours. You pout, pulling up Gotham General’s files and sifting through the database.
“... Maybe.”
You pause from your search on one of the Justice League’s supercomputers, sneaking a sheepish glance at your co-conspirator. Ever since you asked him to help with your… reconnaissance, he’s been nothing but a great help. And judgment-free. Batman is as paranoid and insane as you are, and that is why he is quite possibly your best friend.
You flush. “You know– I– Thanks, Bats. Really. I’m glad you aren’t acting all weird about this.”
Batman doesn’t say anything, but you know that he’s giving you his full attention.
“Like, I’m not a freak or anything. I just have to make sure I know what I’m getting into.” You puff your cheeks. “Know he’s… you know. Good.”
What a lie. You’re just scared and don’t want to get caught with your pants down. Despite being an actual living, breathing, metahuman and superhero… Bruce is the one with the power in this relationship. He’s… everything. Encapsulating. Towering. Anyone would want him. You think of the lingering looks very, very beautiful women give him. Everyone does want him.
You feel a pang of violent loathing and nausea that is tided over when Batman speaks.
“... I know plenty about Bruce Wayne. He’s… good.”
Your brows rise. You’ve only known the man for a few months but even you know that’s a glowing compliment coming from Batman. His highest praise on most people is usually neutral at best. “Hmm… okay.” You turn back to your work, laughing. “Well. I also just think he’s kind of interesting to learn about. What other celebrity has this much lore? The prodigal son… Prince of Gotham… Collector of orphans… Gotham’s Most Eligible Bachelor...”
You worry your lip, gnashing your teeth. Bachelor. That’s what everyone thinks he is, right? You blink and curiously turn to Batman, whose hands are flying across a keyboard, hard at work. You hope you’re not bothering him. W-well, he’d say if I were, right? you think.
“Is it weird if I put cameras in Wayne Manor?”
Batman stills and your throat dries. Damn.
“... Um… Too weird…?”
After a tentative silence, Batman responds.
“... No. You’re just covering your bases.”
Your cheeks fill with color as being vindicated – a view you don’t know makes his heart race marginally quicker.
“Yeah!” You cough, composing yourself. “I mean, yeah. You can learn a lot about someone from what they get up to when they think they’re alone.” You can also make sure they’re not bringing anyone home, but you keep that part to yourself.
“I could plant them, if you need. I have plenty made for this kind of surveillance.”
You’re smiling widely, wheeling your chair over to Batman’s side before you know it.
“... God. Batman, you magnificent mind, you. This is why we’re buddies.” You lean over and poke his chest cheekily, right on the bat emblem.
Bruce has to restrain himself from catching your hand on its retreat. Your poke burns a hole in his chest for minutes afterward, and he welcomes every second of it. He turns back to his computer screen, vainly attempting to not think about how much he wants to kiss you right now.
Perhaps Bruce should’ve simply asked you out as Batman. You spend much more time when he’s under the cowl than not. But frankly, you would’ve been too distracted during missions. Hell, he would’ve been too distracted. He already thinks of you all the time.
Your investigation into Bruce Wayne has tripped several of his alarms, even before you told him of it. Anyone making inquiries with this level of depth draws his attention. Nothing you’re looking is anything he’s averse to you knowing, so he’s allowed you to investigate him freely and without redirection. But of course, you don’t know that. The effort you’re making is… cute. The fact you don’t know that Batman is Bruce is cute. You think you have the upper hand. And that’s… cute.
Bruce doesn’t think too deeply about your stalking, even though he probably should. It’s probably evidence of an unstable individual. He’s sure ten years alone with no stimuli in a pocket dimension does things to a person. But who was he to judge? He’s violated the privacy and boundaries of everyone who affects his life in any important way. Nor does he claim to be a shining example of ideal mental health.
And at the end of the day, this situation is all under his control.
There is a small part of him that feels guilty for keeping his identity under wraps, but there’s a bigger part that’s amused. You don’t know that he’s had your birth certificate since the day after you met. You don’t know that there’s about twenty cameras working 24/7 in and out of your apartment. Or that he’s your new landlord. These are things he’ll tease you about once he confesses that he’s Batman. You’ve made him someone who likes to tease.
Still, Bruce remains hesitant about telling you. How would you react? Would you feel betrayed? Hurt? Dread floods his bloodstream, an effect only the most depraved individuals in his rogues gallery tend to have on him.
Would you leave him? Hate him?
His eyes skirt towards where you sit. You worry your lip, eyes glued to a plan of Wayne Manor, no doubt debating where you want him to place the cameras he’s offered. Tension leaves his shoulders, almost imperceptible.
Luckily, the chances of that seem slim.
#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#yandere reader#bruce wayne#yandere batman#batman x reader#i have got to make everyone crazier#mine
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Kinich x r4ped!reader
Scaramouche x family issues!reader
(I finally finished this request! I've tried to make it as non-specific as possible, I know this is a sensitive subject. If any of you, dear readers, have gone through a similar experience, I want you to know that this is a serious subject, and that you are not alone. You have many things, many people, many laws and entities protecting you. Feel free to express yourself. You can count on me if you need anything.)
Kinich
Where you find comfort on him after being sexu4lly 4bused.
It was a thick night in Natlan, and the heat was barely able to alleviate the weight you felt in your chest. In the last few days, you had tried to return to your normal life, pretending that everything was fine; but the reality was that the shadows of your pain continued to haunt you. You didn't want to talk, not even to Kinich, afraid that your words would fail to convey the hell you had lived through. However, the concern in his eyes convinced you that tonight you could no longer bear your suffering alone.
Kinich was at your side, silent. Not asking for explanations, not pressuring. Despite his pragmatic personality, he was perceptive and knew when someone was carrying more than they could hold. He watched you for a moment, his eyes serious and attentive, without traces of judgment, only open for whatever you decided to trust him with.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to say," Kinich murmured softly, breaking the silence gently. His rough hands, accustomed to combat and hunting, sought yours with unusual care, as if he were afraid of breaking you at the slightest contact. “But I am here, for whatever you need. You know I love you, forever”
You felt the calm strength in his touch. A shiver ran through your skin, as if Natlan’s warmth was not enough to calm the coldness that had remained inside you since that fucking day. The words were stuck in your throat, and although you wanted to answer him, your voice seemed to have faded. But Kinich understood, as if your silence spoke for itself. He gently pulled you towards him, and without saying anything else, he let his arm surround your body with a protective warmth, gently, as if he were leaving you enough time to react, in case you did not want to have any contact.
“I know that what they did to you…” he began to say, his voice low and full of a weight that he rarely showed, “is something that no human being should endure. I can't undo what they did to you, or erase that pain… but I'll be here, even if you just want company without words."
You squeezed your eyes shut, and at last, the knot in your chest began to give way. Tears ran free, and Kinich didn't look away for a moment. He stayed by your side, like an immovable pillar in the middle of the storm that was hitting you. There was no rush, no attempt to change or minimize what you felt. He was simply there, sharing the weight in silence.
When you finally found your voice, you could barely whisper through your tears:
"I'm scared… scared that I'll never feel whole again, that this has taken a part of me away forever. I feel dirty, I've been taken away…"
Kinich looked at you, his gaze filled with an empathy rare in him. With a deliberate slowness, on purpose in case you didn't feel comfortable, he placed his hand on your face, gently wiping away the tears with his thumb.
"You're so much more... you are stronger than you think,” he replied, with a conviction so deep that he almost managed to make you believe him. “They haven’t taken anything from you. You will overcome it, and you will be the same as always. It is just a process that you will face… and I will be there throughout the process, helping you. You will overcome it. I promise you that.”
His words were like a balm, sincere and firm. Although the doubt and the pain were still present, Kinich’s presence enveloped you in a feeling of security. He did not promise that everything would be fine, but he did promise that he would be there, ready to accompany you in every step you took to heal.
You both stayed like that, sharing the silence under Natlan’s starry sky, and you understood that in Kinich you had found a refuge.
Scaramouche
Where he comforts you after you've told him your family's expectations of you.
The mood in Sumeru was gloomy, reflecting the weight of your thoughts. You had had a heated argument with your family earlier that morning, a conflict that seemed to repeat itself in an endless cycle. It was differences of expectations, impossible demands, and a constant comparison that drained every particle of peace you tried to build. You didn't know how to explain to them your desire to live on your own terms, without the weight of their expectations on your shoulders.
You found yourself walking aimlessly through the city, trying to clear your mind. However, a familiar shadow appeared in your path, and looking up, you saw Scaramouche, arms crossed and a disdainful expression you knew all too well.
"Are you done ghosting around town?" he asked in his usual scathing tone, but something in his eyes revealed more concern than contempt.
You sighed, trying to keep your composure, but the tension in your chest was too strong.
“If you’ve only come to make fun of it, then you might as well leave it,” you replied in a dry tone, hoping your words would drive him away.
To your surprise, Scaramouche didn’t move. Instead, he stared at you intently, as if he were trying to decipher the shadows behind your words.
“I’m not here to make fun of you, fool,” he murmured, his tone softening only slightly. “Though sometimes it seems like you don’t even understand what you need.”
His words made your barriers crumble, and without knowing how, you found yourself telling him everything. The overwhelming expectations, the rejection of your decisions, the constant criticism that felt like daggers in your heart. As you spoke, Scaramouche’s expression changed, a mix of contained rage and dark compassion that only he seemed to possess.
“So… you can’t live up to them and they know it,” he finally said, after listening to you in silence. “Why do you have to mold yourself in their image?”
You looked at him in shock, tears threatening to spill out. It was the first time someone had said it out loud, like a truth you hadn’t allowed yourself to believe.
“Because… they’re my family. I’m supposed to make them happy.”
Scaramouche snorted, his gaze turning icy.
“That’s absurd,” he muttered, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “Family shouldn’t be a burden that crushes you. They don’t have the right to decide how you live. If they truly loved you, why would they hurt you this way?”
His words were harsh, but they carried a sincerity that cut through every one of your doubts. You moved a little closer, seeking refuge in his presence. Though Scaramouche rarely showed affection to you, eben if he was your boyfriend, this time he didn’t pull away. Instead, he let you lean on him, his hand resting gently on your back as the weight of your tears fell silently.
“You don’t need to live up to their expectations to be worth something. If they don’t see it, it’s their problem, not yours,” he murmured, almost in a whisper. “And I… well, I’m the last one who should say this, but… you’re not alone in this fight.”
For the first time in a long time, you felt like someone understood you without judging you. Scaramouche, with his reticent nature and his own history of pain, knew more than he let on.
And in that instant, you realized that even if your family would never understand your choices, maybe you had someone at your side who could support you without asking for anything in return.
Here is my masterlist, in case you are interested in any more of my work or want to send me a request <3
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin angst#genshin impact angst#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfic#genshin x you#scaramouche#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche angst#scaramouche x you#kinich#kinich x reader#kinich x you#kinich angst#kinich genshin#genshin scara#scara x reader#wanderer genshin#genshin kinich
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hello there!
Can I request a Franco x reader? But where Ayrton Senna is alive in this universe and the reader is Senna? If not, then fine. It's up to you. Thanks in advance 😊😊
ʚɞ a/n: that is my moment!!!!!!!! i often imagine how would it be to have ayrton in contemporary scenarios it's unhealthy lol. i really think he'd be full of jokes and a fun guy just like he was off track. thanks for the request, it was a real nice one to write! (and if anyone has any senna request, i'll be more tham happy to take it! (i'm even willing to write stuff with senna himself))
ʚïɞ "you got me good" FC43
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ masterlist ↳ drop a request! ↳ more franco fluff!
✧₊⁺ franco colapinto x cecília senna (senna!female oc)
✧₊⁺ word count: 1,6k⠀⠀⠀⠀✧₊⁺, gender: crack, fluff.
✧₊⁺ summary: franco and cecília kept a secret relationship and when they decide to come clean, her father was ahead of it and he's a total menace.
✧₊⁺ warnings: alternative universe where that may 1th 1994 didn't happen and ayrton grew old like he deserved to, my hyper focus on that man shown in references, a bit of portuguese properly translated, kinda short and poorly contextualized, curse words, franco is a baby, just soft and light content for the win.
"What do you mean he doesn't know about it?"
Franco took a deep breath, massaging his own scalp as his friend and co-worker continued talking, a mix of excitement and judgment in his words.
"You are not making this any better," he mouthed.
"You are dating his daughter! You are da-ting. The man's daughter. Like... The man's daughter. The hell haven't you met her family!?"
"I am scared, okay!? If I get rejected by her family... It's not just my girlfriend's family. It's simply Senna himself! Should I what!? Drop the job? Hide in a cave?"
Alex laughed, the words and the tone easing the tension. The guy was worried to death and things might be simpler than he thought. Everyone knew Senna was a fun person.
Dating Cecília Senna felt almost like marrying into royalty. It's a good feeling, though. Bagging Cecília Senna could easily be added to one of Franco's big achievements — and he's a former F2 driver called in last minute to fill a Formula One seat — and he's doing great.
But still, it's Cecília Senna, the only child of a legend, someone he looked up to growing up, someone he saw in the paddock many times before ending up in his daughter's sheets.
"Hello, everyone!"
God, his heart might have dropped to the floor just now. The retired driver walked into the garage happily, with his daughter attached to his arm and waving familiarly.
Everyone gathered around them immediately, though Cecília's eyes instantly met Franco's. She knew he was scared and had made fun of him until she couldn't anymore, teasing him in every way she could.
"I've heard the news on the Argentinian! You guys are lucky you got away easily!"
Alright, it's time to pray. What news? That he's fucking his daughter? That they meet every week? That she wanted a Williams' box pass so badly just because of him? Or... That they hid it from everyone just to gain a bit more time?
"We got quality, mate! That's it." Vowels took his cue to fill in the blank, the people dispersing and going back to their work. "Found the kid sparring and made him a beast."
"Yeah, of course," the Brazilian laughed. "What's up, buddy! Feeling the pressure?"
Franco mentally cursed Cecília for raising her eyebrows and doubling the meaning of the question, but he managed to stand up and dry his sweaty hands on his pants.
"I try not to, honestly. Not... think about it a lot," he said, feeling he could have worded the sentence a bit better as they shook hands.
"That's the spirit! I heard a lot about you, little man. Do you know my daughter? Cecília?"
Tricky question. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Tricky question.
If he had heard about it, then he knew about them. Franco could say "yes" and end up with a lecture, or say "no" and be caught in a lie.
"You guys think you are smart, huh? Fooling around, hiding from cameras..."
Oh, it's over. It's over for him. The "drop the job and hide in a cave" plan was almost running in his veins right now. Maybe he should Sebastian Vettel his way around, retire early, and move to a countryside home in Switzerland. Yes, that's a good plan.
"Pai... Para com isso." Cecília shoved her dad's side, rolling her eyes. (Dad... Stop that.)
"What? You guys thought you got away with it?"
"Pai! Ele tá ficando sem graça!" she insisted. (Dad! He's getting uncomfortable!)
Franco thought of speaking up, but the nerves were all up and maybe he should let it be.
"Yeah! He should!" Ayrton still had a serious look on his face, making Franco shiver.
"Pai, sério." (Dad, I'm serious.)
"Sir, I know it—"
"Come on, Franquinho! I'm fooling around, take that scared look off your face!" In a matter of seconds, Ayrton's grin turned into a playful smile, and his arm was hooked over Franco's shoulder, messing up his hair and leaving him even more confused. "Did I scare you? You should have seen your eyes!"
Franco laughed, still a bit dulled. That was a big one.
"You're a bastard," Cecília rolled her eyes once again, aware of the father she had.
The man was a natural jokester, full of little jokes and loved making uncomfortable scenarios in the name of fun. He was a handful.
"And you guys should have told me about this before! You lost it all, Franquinho. Angra, the travels... You need to be introduced to the family!"
He had heard about Angra; the beach house Cecília went to every now and then, how much she and her father loved the place. He even saw an old interview where Ayrton said that his retirement plans included being "Angra's nature inspector."
"Yeah- Yeah, sim." Franco risked some Portuguese, patting Ayrton on the back before they both stepped apart. "Sorry for... for taking too long to meet you, I was- Damn, you got me good."
"I could see!" Senna didn't waste a single laugh. "Don't worry, little boy. You're a good investment. And Cecília is pretty happy, so... you got my support."
"I'm even happier to hear it." Franco chuckled. "Thank you, very much. Your daughter also makes me really happy."
"Of course! Her bad jokes make everyone laugh." Ayrton kept the teasing going. "Now you better show me some racing! I've been in your place and to keep the daughter you need to be as good as dad!"
"You should have seen your face, baby!"
Franco glanced at his girlfriend as he turned his head, their first alone time since the morning's humiliation session.
"I don't wanna talk about it," he mouthed, shirt off and focus switching. "That was traumatizing."
"I told you he's a clown." Her shoulders went up a bit. "But he wasn't lying at the end! He likes you!"
"I got that part. Now I know where you got that dark humor from." The blue-eyed boy stood in the middle of his room, hands on his waist as he let his girlfriend use her eyes.
"What can I say? I am my father's daughter." She smiled mischievously. "He wants you to spend some time, though. Before Vegas, maybe?"
"I could've Max Verstappen my way around and have stayed for the week... But we waited until your dad could scare me to death in the middle of the box so... Yeah, it can be next week." He started simple, voice steady.
But then Cecília approached and her hands liked to touch. All over his torso while she traced a good way for his hair.
"You ain't seen nothing yet." The smile was still on her face, lips coming closer and closer to his. "But I am really happy, you know? Now we can just be and enjoy some time... I can take you to Angra, and I don't need to hide in your driver's room. I was done with pretending I was investing in Williams just so I had a reason to watch the races here."
"Told you about it... You could afford my seat."
Another joke. Ever since he got into F1 as an emergency call, she did say she only had to call her dad and his 2025 seat would be secured.
"You're gonna get it because you deserve it, I am not affording that." She flashed her eyelashes, rimming a single syllable as his hands also started to travel.
Inside her expensive shirt, up and down her back in good pressure before they found room at her waist.
"You know what else I deserve?"
"You freak! Go shower and I'll be waiting for you outside. My dad is around!"
It took them no time. Within weeks, Ayrton and Franco became partners in crime, and suddenly, Cecília was having a taste of her own medicine.
"Turn it off! Now!" Ayrton whispered in a screaming tone, the last signal Franco needed before turning off the power for the whole house.
Cecília had just come back from the beach and Franco finally knew the Angra house. It was dark, and the prank was not very well planned.
"Porra." (Shit.) they heard the Brazilian swearing. "Que inferno, de novo? PAAAAI?" (What the hell, again? DAAAAD?)
He knew some words in Portuguese and it only made it funnier. Him and his father-in-law were hiding in the small laundry room as Cecília searched for them.
"Ready, kid?"
"No, but I'll do it anyways."
"Good kid. You're a great one." The old man, as a new custom, messed with the Argentinian's hair, before opening the door and waiting for him to leave.
"Eu juro, se vocês estiverem armando pra cima de mim eu— Ah— FRANCO! NO!" (I swear, if you guys are planning something against me I—)
He's fast even with his limited knowledge about the furniture in the house, walking in the dark before he could lift her and throw her over his shoulder.
It's the fourth time she's thrown in the pool and she just knows it's her father opening the glass door for the exterior area before she's sinking in cold water.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALL!" Cecília screamed. "I JUST WASHED MY HAIR! OH MY GOD! PUTTING YOU TWO TOGETHER WAS THE WORST THING I EVER DID!"
"Não reclama, princesinha..." (Don't you complain, little princess...) her father played, now standing besides her boyfriend. "Bate aqui, you passed the test. Welcome to the family." (High five,)
"I hate you guys. Eu odeio vocês, los odio. Whatever. Don't ever talk to me again." Cecília stomped her way out of the pool, walking straight past them.
"Don't get mad, baby... It's just a joke!"
"Well, boy... It's your girlfriend. Go ease her nerves. You're called Colapinto for a reason."
ʚïɞ ayrtonswnna, 2024. check my masterlist or drop a request (: reblogs and feedback are always welcome (:
#lele writes ʚɞ#formula 1#f1#f1 imagine#formula one imagine#formula one#imagine#formula one fluff#formula one fluff imagine#franco colapinto fluff#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x oc#franco colapinto x reader#senna!oc#franco colapinto x senna!daughter#senna!reader#ayrton senna#williams racing
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Hi!! Can I request Jiyan from Wuwa with a scary reader? I mean, the other Midnight Rangers might be scared of the reader because of her/his constant smile in ABSOLUTELY any situation
Jiyan x scary reader
scary!malereader x Jiyan, fluff;
Bruh I got 4 request for Jiyan on the same day (02.10) and I am absolutely excited and terrified at the same time. Imma write everything at some point, but uni has started so it can take a while. Thanks a lot anon! Hope it's acceptable
M/N was definitely a special figure in the ranks of Midnight Rangers. Although he didn't hold the highest position and wasn't making the most important decisions, his name was known to everyone. And it brought a real fear among the Midnight Rangers.
But what's quite surprising, all this terror wasn't caused by his strength, outstanding achievements on battlefield, demanding nature or nasty character. No, M/N was a total opposite of cocky, narcissistic or mean. He was just-... kind. Too kind.
And as ridiculous as it may sound, everyone who screwed something up, always begged deep inside that their punishment wouldn't be handled by M/N. Even general himself, who mustered up a demanding manner in face of crisis, seemed like much safer option than you and your legendary approach.
Rumor had it that one day, many years ago, when a military traitor was brought back to the camp, cries of suffering had no end. Witnesses mentioned a small, shabby building, set far from a center of base. That's where the man, who betrayed entire army by leading them into a trap and taking their lives, got placed. Bitter soldiers - victims who lost they family, friends, disciples - visited this place numerous times. And although, eventually, traitor survived and lived to see a fair sentence, it all didn't go without bruises.
In order to keep military self-judgment from being too harsh someone had to guard a traitor. Several of youngest recruits were assigned to do this task. One of them was M/N. Many were worried about how this gruesome sights might affect such a young man, with an optimistic approach to life. Who always burst with positive energy and found advantages in every situation, even the worst.
However, all fears died when they saw a face of M/N, crossing the doorstep of a building. Smile adorned his face.
Anxiety was born.
For the record, there was also a moment when more than one person fought for general's heart and favor. And not every candidate was fair in their actions. Even though it was already known behind the scenes that Jiyan and M/N had a thing for each other and that they were forming a relationship, someone was shameless enough to interfere in that.
Intruder's ploys were extremely nasty. Especially when looking at M/N's vulnerability, due to the fact that both partners were still young and not ranked high enough to be able to reveal themselves in front of military authorities.
However, it was hard to tell what was more shocking. Intruder's actions or M/N's reaction.
Because to everything, M/N responded in one only way:
Intruder “accidentally” poured hot soup on M/N?
Smile.
Intruder questioned M/N's abilities and brought up his fails?
Smile.
Intruder claimed that he would be a better partner for Jiyan?
Smile.
Intruder allowed himself for too much in a bar and grabbed Jiyan at the end of his back?
Smile.
And leave intruder with a twisted arm. But, that's a topic for another story.
Whatever happened one thing was certain. No matter how much it annoyed M/N, upset or made him angry, M/N still managed to react with a smile. And that's precisely what was most horrifying about him.
That big, wide smile combined with blank eyes. Sight that gave chills.
Belive me when I tell you that in the whole Midnight Rangers there was no one more scary than M/N. If new generations of soldiers had children in the future, they would definitely scare them with frightening stories about M/N.
Despite the fact that M/N was only one of many coaches in army, it was hard to find a person more respected. Even if this respest was brought by fear… After all, in order to submit, the most rebellious soldiers needed something more than admiration towards the great Jiyan.
Like in the past, todays also, M/N's dark aura was working wonders.
It was truly naive to think that anyone could avoid training with M/N by lies.
Two skinny boys shook with fright as they saw at whom they had just bumped into. Panicked, they were shifting their gaze from one to another.
-Oh boys. Where are you running like that? - you asked with fake confusion - Didn't our training begin just a minute ago?
Your disciples swallowed their saliva with a big difficulty. What were you doing here?! Weren't you supposed to be with the rest?
-Ah right! -you started with excitement, almost as if you had just recalled something- Your teammates reported that you were bedridden sick.
Youngest began to stutter.
-But wait! This isn't a bed, is it?
Boys could barely stand the tension. Whole lives flew before their eyes. And all possible punishments they could receive for insubordination. Starting with bathroom cleaning, month's service as kitchen help, plenty of extra push-ups or worst of all... individual hand-to-hand combat training with M/N himself… not even to mention about reporting to top units.
But instead of hearing a stern reprimand or punishment, M/N blessed them with nothing else than a smile. Beaming, barely natural.
Recruits' knees softened under your murderous, almost insane stare. Controlled by anxiety, they quickly bent in half, heads almost reaching the ground. Hysterical apologies and pleas for mercy reached your ears.
You frowned at this and tilted your head slightly to the side, truly amazed.
-Jiiiyaaan - miserable, you cried out your partner's name and he turned towards you with curiosity.
Without much delaying, you snuggled into your sitting partner's back.
-I think that they don't like me...
You announced with a pouty face and hid your head in the crook of his neck. Jiyan stroked your hair with affection.
-Who do you mean?
-Everyone
You broke down more and squeezed your boyfriend tighter. Frustration in your voice contrasted significantly with Jiyan's deep calmness.
Jiyan bit his lip slightly. He quickly recalled his conversation with Ningwei from the past.
They were sitting in a military bar at the time. Though late hour made all the other soldiers return to their bunks, it was also an ideal opportunity to reveal a few secrets in a honest talk.
Jiyan wasn't first to start topic like that. He didn't feel a need to inform everyone about his relationship status. It was your private business. And if anyone really wanted to know about it, they could figure it out by themselves. In the end, after many years of knowing each other and being in relationship, you two became more and more bold in displaying your feelings for each other. Or rather more reckless… Without even knowing, you started to share scraps of your routine with world outside of your abode. Some began to notice that two of you had something more in common than just a simple friendship. But no one had the courage to say it out loud.
Except for Ningwei. His personality and history with Jiyan allowed him to do more. Besides, he was worried about his captain. And he wasn't the only one. Everyone in crew was concerned, even just by your close "friendship". They were anxious about leaving their beloved general alone with you. Jiyan was such a good person. Always caring for others and putting they well-being above his own. He made sure that soldiers lived in good conditions,. Tried to send them on leave as often as possible. And never failed to extend a helping hand to any victim who lost their home in the fires of battle.
They feared that in his generosity, Jiyan might be naive, forcibly seeking kindness hidden in others. In their blind imagination, they felt as if they were leaving a helpless lamb to be devoured by a big, scary wolf.
-You nad M/N... are you- are you sure about?
Jiyan tilted his head slightly to the side and sent him a questioning look.
-Are you sure that you two are a good match? You know, M/N is-… he is- he's-…. -though it never happened to Ningwei, this time he couldn't get words out of his mouth. He was too afraid of Jiyan's reaction. He didn't know how Jiyan could respond to bad words about a person most important to him. Or rather, Ningwei knew. Tragically. Not in Jiyan's peaceful way.
Ningwei slowly sank down into his chair under Jiyan's gaze. Suddenly, a predatory side of general, usually revealed only in heat of a battle, became more and more real.
-...scary?
He finally finished, without much confidence, and Jiyan only furrowed his eyebrows more. He didn't quite understand what Ningwei meant. Were they really talking about the same loving M/N? This man was smiling even when others did him wrong. When they accidentally tore his jacket or forget about a gift for him.
Jiyan also recalled that one situation in the bar.
When that one soldier…, Jiyan couldn't really remember his name, got a little too close to him.
At first Jiyan didn't think too much of it. But when he felt a touch on his back, in a place meant only for you, he immediately tensed up.
You responded almost instantly. Before Jiyan had a chance to do anything, you were already by his side, grabbing stranger's wrist in an iron grip. You gritted your teeth and sent intruder a deadly glare. Man hurriedly straightened up and took a few steps back. But it was too late. A frantic smile crossed your face.
And although a whole bar had to separate you (including a panicked Jiyan), at the time, general was feeling oddly proud of his caring partner.
-I am sure that they like you very much... Maybe they are just only a little-… - he wanted to add a word “afraid” but eventually he bit his tongue and didn't finish.
He didn't want to make you upset. He himself didn't know if you did it on purpose or unintentionally. Whether it was just your act. Way to gain respect. Desire to make fun of squad. Or perhaps simple innocence in attempt to show kindness by most obvious gesture - smile.
After all, in private of his company you were a completely different person. You treated him like a real treasure. Spoiling him and being the sweetest boyfriend possible.
Jiyan truly couldn't understand what they all were talking about.
#fanfic#fanfiction#scenarios#tmr#x reader#x male reader#x top male reader#male reader#top male reader#wuwa jiyan#wuthering waves#jiyan wuthering waves#wuthering waves x male reader#wuthering waves x reader#jiyan x male reader#jiyan#jiyan x reader#mxm#jiyan x top male reader
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his peace
pairing: carmy berzatto x reader
summary: when carmy meets you at an al-anon meeting, he’s surprised why how safe he feels with you immediately. but with that comes the anxiety of scaring you away.
word count: 2.5k
warnings: carmy and the reader meet at an al-anon meeting, but no actual discussion of sensitive topics
Carmy took yet another deep breath. He could hear his heartbeat pounding. He wiped his sweaty palms off on his jeans. He saw someone start walking down the hallway towards him. They gave him a small sympathetic smile, noticing his obvious nervousness.
He tried to take more breaths, as though it would give him a fresh perspective and a boost of confidence.
He ran his hand through his hair and reminded himself why he was there. Before he lost his courage, he walked past the “Al-Anon Meeting Today at 2pm” sign and in the door.
He breathed a sigh of relief once he entered the room. He’d been dreading the inside of this room. He was expecting to be met with cold stares and judgmental glances. Instead, the room seemed peaceful, and no one even seemed to notice him.
He picked a spot along the back wall and stood there. He casually leaned back against the wall, wanting to observe the meeting today instead of participate.
You were across the room. You were at the “snack” table that was topped with bottles of water and little packaged snacks, along with fliers full of resources like hotlines and therapist offices.
You caught a glimpse of the man lurking in the back of the room. You noticed the way his eyes avoided your gaze and focused on the floor.
You slowly walked over towards him. Everyone else was having side conversations before the meeting started. He was the only one who was alone.
You’d been coming to these meetings for a while, but you remembered how alone you felt at your first one. You didn’t want him to feel like that.
He only looked up at you once you were standing a few feet in front of him. He gave you a quick anxious smile. He could feel his palms start to sweat again. “Am I not allowed to just watch? This is my first time. I don’t know how these things go.” He rambled, nervously.
“No no no, feel free. It’s totally up to you. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.” You said, holding out your hand to him. His eyes darted to your hand, which he quickly grabbed and gave a firm shake.
“I’m Carmen. My friends call me Carmy though. It’s nice to meet you.” He said, smiling at you. He didn’t know why, but he felt lighter. Like some of the pressure had been taken off. Surviving this meeting felt like less of a big deal when he looked into your eyes.
His thoughts usually operated at a thousand miles a minute, but they seemed to still in your presence.
“I remember how anxious I was at my first meeting. I’m not trying to force you to do anything. You do whatever feels right. But, nothing bad will happen if you come sit with us. I know you probably have all those worst case scenarios in your head right now, but I promise none of them are going to happen.” You tried to assure him as best as you could.
Carmy slowly nodded his head, thinking about what you said. He considered it more than he thought he would. It sounded less scary when you talked about it.
“I’m just not really ready to share or anything yet. I think I’d rather just stay back here and watch.” He told you, hesitantly. The thought of having to talk to a room of strangers about his dead brother was almost enough to paralyze Carmy.
“You can come and just listen, if you want. No one will force you to share. Again, absolutely no pressure, but I’ll save you a seat and leave it up to you.” You said, giving him a small smile and heading towards the circle of chairs.
Carmy watched as you walked away. Something about you made Carmy feel calm. You were encouraging enough that he felt like he could do anything.
He watched you for a few minutes. You were sat down and quietly talking to two other people next to you. Your warm smile made him feel optimistic. He was already looking forward to seeing you once a week.
You looked up and noticed he was watching you. He softly smiled at you. You went back to your conversation, not wanting to pressure him in any way by staring.
Then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him walk up to the chair and sit beside you. You looked over at him and gave him an encouraging smile. You knew how massive a small step like that could feel.
You continued to check in with him throughout the meeting. After each person took their turn sharing, you’d look over at Carmy to make sure he was alright. You felt strangely protective over him, considering you’d just met.
After the meeting, he pulled you to the side. “Thank you for encouraging me today. I’ve been really worried about this meeting, but you helped me feel a lot more comfortable.” He said, genuinely. There was a certain sparkle in his eye that he didn’t even know was there. He felt hopeful for the first time in a long time.
“Of course. I’m glad I was able to help. I’m always here to talk, if you want.” You told him. You were met with a grateful nod.
“Do you maybe want to go get lunch? You’re just really easy to talk to.” He asked you. All of a sudden, you had butterflies in your stomach. You couldn’t hide your smile. “I’d love to.” You told him.
You both walked through the city talking about your lives. You both talked about why you went to Al-Anon meetings. You were one of the first people Carmy told about the Michael stuff.
It became a weekly tradition. Every week you both would sit side by side and then go out to lunch afterwards. By the third meeting, you’d gotten Carmy out of his shell enough to share with the group for the first time.
Carmy was trying really hard to appreciate how good it was with you. Especially since he knew he had a tendency to expect bad things to happen. It also meant he was scared of screwing it up.
So, he kept it separate. You and his life at The Beef were two completely different spaces in his head. You were peace, and The Beef was chaos. You were stress relief, and The Beef was stress-inducing.
That worked fine until he was bickering with Richie at the cash register, as usual, and he saw you walk in the front door.
Realizing it was you, Carmy froze. He’d forgotten all about the argument with Richie, and his eyes were glued on you.
You watched as his cheeks turned a soft shade of red. Carmy was mortified that you were seeing this side of his life. The side that involved screaming and chaos and arguments.
“Not right now, Richie,” Carmy mumbled, pushing past Richie and walking into the kitchen. Carmy’s thoughts started racing. He walked past Sydney and Marcus and Tina as they yelled different questions at him.
His mind was on one thing now. He marched towards the office after he spotted Natalie sitting at the desk. He needed to talk to someone about you, finally.
He barged into the office and closed the door behind him. The yelling of the kitchen was slightly muffled, blending in with the thoughts bouncing around his head.
“Carm, what’s wrong?” Nat asked, looking up and seeing her brother out of breath. Carmy immediately sat down on the couch and put his head into his hands.
He could feel himself spiraling and was trying to stop it before it got too far. All his emotions were bubbling to the surface. He truly thought he was going to scare you away.
“Carm, seriously, what’s going on? I’m getting worried.” Nat repeated.
He looked up from the floor, and she could see the panic in his eyes. “I went to a meeting. And I met this girl. She’s really been helping me. I just feel so calm when I’m with her.” He said. Nat noticed a glint in his eye when he talked about you.
“Carm, that’s great. I’m really proud of you. I know it took a lot for you to go. So, what’s wrong?” She asked, sitting beside him. She held onto his hand, encouraging him to explain.
“She’s umm…outside right now. I didn’t tell her about this place, but she just walked in.” He mumbled, glancing back towards the closed door. Nat slowly nodded, trying to piece together what he was so worried about.
“What’s so bad about that?” She asked, cocking her head to the side. Carmy shrugged. He wasn’t quite able to explain why he had this pit in his stomach.
“She’s the one thing in my life that just feels pure and completely separate from all the shit here. I haven’t let her see this side of me, and I really like her, Sugar. But if she sees this side of me, she’ll know how fucked up I am.” He said. His eyes were desperate. He was begging Nat for a solution. He needed to know what to do.
She pulled Carmy into a hug, rubbing his back slowly. “She sounds really good for you, Bear. I think you should tell her how you feel. She’s not gonna run away because you’re complicated. Everybody’s complicated. It’s just life. And if she makes your life better, you should go for it.” She said, giving Carmy the perfect sisterly advice.
“You really think so?” Carmy said, looking back towards the door. She just nodded and patted Carmy on the back. He slowly stood up from the couch.
Deep down he knew Nat was right, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared out of his mind.
He walked back through the kitchen, ignoring the chaos surrounding him as he walked towards you. As long as he stayed focused on you, he could drown out all the chaos.
He walked back into the front of the restaurant. You weren’t in line anymore. His eyes searched around for you until he saw you sitting at a small table in the corner.
Richie was still at the cash register taking another customer’s order. “I’m sorry, cousin. We can talk later.” Carmy said, patting Richie’s shoulder as he walked by. He knew if he wanted less chaos in his life, it would take a lot of effort on his part.
He walked over to where you were sitting. When you looked up at him, you noticed his hesitant smile. “Please, sit,” you said, gesturing towards the seat in front of you. He quickly nodded and then sat down.
“Hey, umm, I’m sorry that I kinda ran away earlier. I was just surprised to see you here.” He said, sheepishly. He scratched the back of his neck. You felt a small smile creep on your face. Bashful was a cute look on Carmy.
“It’s totally fine. I was shocked to see you too. I didn’t know you worked at a restaurant.” You said, smiling at him. He quickly looked up to meet your eyes and then shook his head. “I actually own the restaurant. This was Mikey’s before he died, and he left it to me.” He told you.
You noticed how happy he was when he was talking about his brother. Carmy was still bracing for you to storm out the door, and he didn’t even know why.
It was probably because in his life, good things never lasted.
Until you.
He felt a little bit of imposter syndrome with you. Like he’d been pretending to be this person with his life put together. And now, you were seeing what his life really looked like.
“I think that’s really beautiful, Carmy. You know, you running this place to honor your brother. I bet he’d be really proud of you.” You said. You gently reached across the table and let your hand rest on top of his. He quickly looked between you and your hand on his.
“Really? You don’t like…think this place is a total shit hole? With all the screaming and everything. Everything here is fuckin’ chaos.” He said, chuckling to himself. Self doubt had always been something that haunted Carmy.
You quickly shook your head, assuring him. “Just because it’s a little messy doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful. Nothing’s ever tied up neatly in a bow. Especially not when you’re dealing with family. I think it just means you care, not that you’re doing a bad job.” You said, running your thumb along the back of his hand.
He could hear his heart beating as he looked at you. Your hand touching his had goosebumps running up his arm. And when you looked at him with that smile, he felt his heart skip a beat.
“Hey, do you maybe wanna— I uhhh… nevermind, I’m probably reading this wrong.” He said, quickly standing up from the table and starting to walk away.
You giggled to yourself at his shyness. You stood up and grabbed his hand to stop him. He spun around to face you, with hope in his eyes. Because you had stopped him from leaving, which had to be a good sign, right?
You tugged him closer to you. He could feel his eyes go wide. He was trying to read every little part of your expression. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His stomach did a flip. He noticed how the warmth lingered on his cheek.
“Do you want to go get dinner sometime?” You asked, finishing his question for him. His shocked expression turned into a smile. “I would umm— definitely, I would really like that.” He said, fumbling through his words.
Something about you made Carmy forget how to speak. “You’re cute when you’re blushing.” You said, cocking your head to the side and admiring him.
One of his hands flew up to cover his cheeks. Carmy hadn’t realized he was so easy to read. “No no, I’m not blushing. It’s just uhhh— from the cold, y’know,” he said, failing to convince you.
You giggled to yourself. The sound was angelic to Carmy and made his stomach do somersaults. “We’re inside though.” You said, smirking at him as he was caught in his excuse.
“Oh, yeah, would you look at that,” he said, pretending to be shocked. You jokingly rolled your eyes at him. He stepped forward, cupping your cheek and kissed you softly. You rested your hands on his sides as his lips softly moved against yours.
You both pulled away with giant smiles on your faces. “I really like you.” He admitted, interlacing his fingers with yours. You felt your smile grow even wider. “Likewise,” you said, pressing a kiss to his temple.
“I want to introduce you to someone.” He said, leading you back to the office to introduce you to Sugar.
It seemed like a weird choice, but for Carmy, it was him bridging his two lives together. He didn’t want to keep them separate anymore. He wanted you to be in his life, his real life, not the life he pretended to have.
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Mousey: Listen, okay? Don’t tell him I said any of this shit, okay? I’m really proud of him. I’m extremely proud of Connor. When we did our interview, you guys won’t see this because of course it gets cut, you know, shit gets edited. And shit gets cut out but… I- I cried to him and I told him that- How appreciative I was of him because, you know, I would have never guessed that like when we met three years ago, almost four years ago, that we would be at this point. That we would be doing stuff like this together. And we would be, you know, raising awareness, changing people’s lives, helping people. It’s just- I’m just so grateful for his friendship. So grateful that he’s apart of my life because, you know, (Silence) I just am. I’m- I’m. I just am. He’s been there for me like no one else has been there for me and, um, it’s crazy for me to think that like we’re doing stuff like this and it’s like- I would have never thought that the day that we met and we just started talking-
You know, I remember when we first started talking I was like really.. scared to tell him that I was sick. And the only reason why like I told him was because I had to. Because he kept bringing up like going to hangout and like, you know, asking me to come like (to) Japan and like chill and like, you know, recommend places and stuff like that. And I just- I don’t know. Something in me told me to tell him. And I was really scared because I don’t like telling people because I feel like I’m just going to get treated differently or people are just going to get weirded out or grossed out or- And not want to talk to me. So, I was just like, you know what? I’m just going to tell him and if he stops talking to me after that then he stops talking to me after that! And you know, if we just- if we just like talk like “Hi Bye” friends then that’s fine with me. It’s- It’s fine, you know? But that was not what happened. I told him how shocked I was cause when I told him about it, it was the exact opposite of what I thought was going to happen. I- He.
I was just taken aback that he like genuinely showed concern. He wanted to know more about my condition, he wanted to know more about what was going on and he asked so many questions and he wasn’t like dismissive. Or he wasn’t like, “Oh well damn. That sucks bro.” Cause normally you would tell somebody and they’d be like, “Damn that’s crazy. That sucks. Sorry.” You know what I mean? Like usually people are just like, “Oh my god that’s terrible.” And then you move on. And then it’s just like, “Sorry about that. Sorry if that’s going on with you.” You know? But with him it was like, you know, he wanted to know everything. He wanted to learn more about everything that was going on and he was genuinely interested, genuinely concerned, genuinely just wanted to know more about me. And I was.. shocked. Shocked that that was happening. And um. You know. We’ve been besties ever since and it’s just.. crazy to think. (Sniffles)
He’s a good guy. Genuinely. Genuinely good guy. (Voice breaks and sniffles more) And uh. I just uh. I’m just very grateful to him that he, you know, he cares about all this stuff and not once did he ever like feel weirded out or disgusted, you know? Judgmental. So. (Sniffles) You know. It was- It was- It’s crazy. It was like one of the first moments of my life where I just felt like I could be myself and I didn’t have to pretend or hide. And… and it’s been like that ever since and it’s just really nice that he genuinely cares about this cause and he genuinely cares about helping other people like me. So I- I am just very thankful. I’m already crying (Laughs)
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